Friday, November 16, 2007

Best "Out of office" automated replies


1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over . . )

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the! next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Jim.



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14 comments:

  1. SandeeNovember 16, 2007 at 5:04 PM

    These are great Mel. Love them all. Thanks for the laughs. Have a great evening. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. stacys1175November 16, 2007 at 7:10 PM

    I laughed my but off your post was funny. and it had some turth behind it. have a nice day

    ReplyDelete
  3. DubLiManNovember 16, 2007 at 8:17 PM

    Sandee,
    Have a great weekend yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  4. DubLiManNovember 16, 2007 at 8:18 PM

    Staqcy,
    It's the truth that lies behind it that makes them so funny.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownNovember 16, 2007 at 8:57 PM

    There are some neat messages there. Now,in my old age, I have decided to allow AT&T to answer my phone. Thus my mother can’t bitch about the message I record on my answering machine. That, too, is neat.

    ReplyDelete
  6. DubLiManNovember 16, 2007 at 11:23 PM

    Hey Nick,
    I think we are around the same age, so stop referring to yourself as "old."

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jean-Luc PicardNovember 17, 2007 at 4:11 AM

    Hilarious. I enjoyed them all.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AmelNovember 17, 2007 at 4:57 AM

    BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...You always crack me up, Mel! ;-D

    ReplyDelete
  9. AmelNovember 17, 2007 at 7:22 AM

    By the way, Mel,

    Go claim your award here:

    I've Got A Friend in You Award

    ReplyDelete
  10. DubLiManNovember 17, 2007 at 8:22 AM

    Jean-Luc,
    Thanks for visiting. I hope to see you again.

    ReplyDelete
  11. DubLiManNovember 17, 2007 at 8:23 AM

    Amelia,
    I try. I will be right over for the award. Thanks so much.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Robin Lee SardiniNovember 17, 2007 at 10:22 AM

    Funnneee stuff, Mel!

    ReplyDelete
  13. DubLiManNovember 17, 2007 at 11:07 AM

    Robin,
    Thanks for the visit.

    ReplyDelete
  14. ConstantineNovember 7, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    In my view everybody must go through it.
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    ReplyDelete