Hello! Thank you for calling "The State Mental Hospital". Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up... our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
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Turbo Tagger
Hahahaha, very funny...
ReplyDeleteyes I was spammed 3 times now - changed my site twice - still so had to word verify- I feeel it slows down comments but had to did you ever think of techno lessons on your site?I am very challenged in these areas.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahaha. I fit more that one catagory here. Bwahahahahaha. :)
ReplyDeleteheheheehe Funny - the low self esteem one actually stood out. that's not right.
ReplyDeleteHC,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment.
Sandy,
ReplyDeleteWhat is Techno Lessons? I have not heard of that.
Sandee,
ReplyDeleteI don't want to say how many categories that I fit into.
Chuck,
ReplyDeleteOK, it's time that you got back to reading my "process."
heheheh....very funny Mel...
ReplyDeleteand very true !!!
Where can I get that phone number!
ReplyDeleteKim,
ReplyDeleteThat's what makes it so funny....it's true.
Mr Law of Attraction,
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew.
Mel,
ReplyDeleteLOL LOL LOL LOL You kill me *nodding*!
Oooohhhh, I just saw the new edition of Redneck jokes...I gotta go and read it!!!
Later
Max,
ReplyDeleteYou are funny. I'll catch you at "Redneck Corner."
There's nothing great than having a good jokes in the morning. It made your day! Great jokes there! i laughing my brains out!
ReplyDeleteMac,
ReplyDeleteOuch.....that must hurt "Laughing your brains out", that is. LOL
what is the number? anyone? :)
ReplyDeletehaha..very funny..even I read this not in the morning..
Job,
ReplyDeleteI even come back to this post and read it once in a while. It always makes me laugh.
Then we shall have to order the menus and have them delivered to you..hahaha..very useless phone machine answerer asking us to press 1 for this 2 for that..
ReplyDeletegirl fights,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. Come back soon.
That's fun man~!!! but i didn't get it, why multiple personalities need press 3,4,5 and 6?
ReplyDeleteCondoms,
ReplyDeleteIn case your question was serious (I hope that it wasn't) each personality picks a different number to push.
oh...my stomach...that's make me laugh till pain! i like the one having low self-esteem. Damn funny!
ReplyDeleterake,
ReplyDeleteI am pleased that you enjoyed this. The "pain" I don't know about......
i think those person who make the phone call will become more mentally ill.
ReplyDeletespandex,
ReplyDeleteI think you can count on that.