Attitude is Everything

Is your glass half empty or is your glass half full?

I had to reprint this article. The title says it all and is the whole concept of my blog; "Attitude is Everything."


Attitude is Everything
By: Andrew Cocks

Bill's sitting in traffic, his attitude stinks, so he feels angry at the other drivers for being in the way. He wishes they'd disappear, they're not even human to him anymore, and he doesn't remember that they've got lives, destinations, concerns, joys, and dreams. He just wants them gone. He knows he did this to himself, by leaving too late to account for traffic. He hates being late, but he's finding himself late more and more often. But, right before he left, he grouched at his family, couldn't find his socks, and then decided he had to take a quick peek at email. So he left no room to spare in his drive time. And now he's looking at a sea of brake lights, waiting through several turns of the traffic light. Fuming. He can feel his pulse on his forehead, a ticking bomb. Finally, he sees the hold-up, an accident. He feels awful because of his selfish impatience, for a moment.

OR

Tracy's sitting in the same traffic jam, even though she left early. But she's listening to an audio book, reading when she's at a standstill, or taking the time to breathe deeply and meditate. She's counting her blessings, taking time to be grateful for all that she is, has, and hopes for. She wonders about the other drivers around her, and notices some really grouchy guy in the car to the right. Looks like he might explode, is that his pulse beating on his forehead? She says a prayer for him and all the other drivers, too. She knows that when she finally gets where she's got to go, she'll be able to cope with any effects of being late from the traffic.

There is a world of difference between these two commutes. And it's all because of attitude. No big surprise, your attitude affects your success in every area of your life, from your relationships to your finances, from your physical health to your appearance, from how long you'll live to how effective you'll be in your business.

An attitude is made of our thoughts, feeling, and ultimately, our actions. It's formed in that order too. Our thoughts create our feelings which direct our actions.

Notice that thoughts come first. It might seem strange, because it certainly seems like our feelings hijack our thoughts and propel us into actions, not the other way around. But you'll see, as we look at how your mind works, that your thoughts are the real powerhouse, the boss, the launch pad that sets everything else in motion. Each thought is powerful, for your good or your harm.

Feelings can be overwhelming, seemingly uncontrollable, driving you toward inevitable actions. It's critical to learn how to control your feelings and actions before anything is set in motion. Either way, for good or for bad results, our thinking and feeling determine how things work out in our lives. Our results are just that, the effects of what's going on inside us.

Before you can really get going on the direction of change, you've got to do an attitude check first. You can read until your eyeballs fall out and your fingers get calloused from turning pages, but without the right attitude in place, you're wasting your time. With a poor attitude, there's no information on Earth that can help you change your life. Take a look at your attitude about yourself, your life, the people in your life, your finances, your health, and your place in the universe. How does it look? There are lots of things in life you really don't have much of a choice about, but your attitude is not one of them. Your attitude is completely up to you. We can tell you right away, that a positive, grateful attitude is the best way to go. Gratitude, for what you've already got, for where you live, who you know, all that you are, and all that you're not, is the place to start. How can you ever expect to receive more in life, to be more in life, without appreciating how far you've already come?

Your attitude is a choice. Success is all about making great choices, and this is the first one you need to tackle. It might take practice. It might take reminding yourself. It might even take a "fake it 'til you make it" stance, but you've got to do it.

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When Those We Trust Disappoint Us

I found the following article to be a very good and healthy way to deal with people that we trust who end up disappointing us. It portrays a healthy attitude.



When Those We Trust Disappoint Us
By: Jack Deal

Recently I needed some work done by a colleague of mine. I had done a lot of pro bono or free work for him and now I needed him to do some work for me. When the job was completed he presented me with a full retail bill. The work he did was what he had promised -- but nothing more. He had returned my favors by making me pay full price. After paying I began to wonder -- was I missing something here?

About a week later another colleague asked me to do some pro bono work. As I had some extra time, I did it. Several days later he called me saying he wanted to refer one of his clients to me. His client was a computer programming company that had management issues and he did not feel competent to do the work since he was a systems integrator. He also stated he wanted a percentage of my fee as compensation. After our conversation I began to wonder -- was I missing something here?

These two individuals are not dummies. They both are intelligent and educated. They both run moderately successful businesses. And maybe that's the key -- moderately successful. They must treat their customers, employees and vendors just like they treated me -- squeezing down to the last nickel. Perhaps they viewed me as super successful since I tend to not get worked up over relatively small amounts of money. I also noticed that these two individuals had something in common: they worry all the time.

They worry if they're busy or if they're slow. They worry if the vendors are charging too much or too little. They worry if it's tax time or if it's not. They worry that each nickel in assets they own is threatened. They even worry if they aren't worried!

This oddity struck me and it kept my focus when I met them next. With each they were clenching their teeth, telling me how busy yet how bad things were, worried that they were not being as successful as they really should be. Their smiles were forced and the voices strained.

Then it all began to make sense. They did not see that by taking advantage of me I might not be as willing to help them the next time they had their hand out. Not only that, if they were to get in a real bind -- which they will -- they may not be able to count on my ability to tell them what they should do. Or help them at all!

These two are not evil or even bad. They are actually decent people that have somehow lost control of that which made them decent. They have traded their basic understanding of business dynamics for a transitory figure that temporarily pops up under the net profit column. Their philosophy has become simple if not simplistic -- If it does not bring swift and significant gain it really does not matter.

And for business people that is sad. We who do not have the security of getting a hand out must rely on the strength of the relationships we can forge in the dog-eat-dog world of unbridled competition. We love the hunt but we know we can so easily be hunted as well. Perhaps it is just such a fear that makes my two colleagues oblivious to decency.

So now I take deep breath when I think of these two. I hope they find some degree of happiness in the midst of all their anxiety. If the ulcers don't get them then the coronaries will.

I am proud to say that despite it all I really bear no ongoing resentment. Fortunately they need me a lot more than I need them. Thankfully the cost-benefit imbalance was not that significant and in a real sense I certainly did get my money's worth. These are two individuals that I might have been convinced to help out in a larger context. Learning bad lessons can certainly be cost effective in the long run by avoiding the bigger mistakes.

And I truly hope they are happy. Hopefully the tag of 'moderately successful' will not be too painful. As hard as they work and as much as they worry they deserve all the happiness and success they can get! Just not from me...

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A Question of Attitude

A Question of Attitude
By MondayMorningPower

On Friday I was flying from Charlotte, NC, back to Los Angeles when I encountered a situation that, in retrospect, I handled poorly. I was in Charlotte for a 2 day sales conference.

First, my state of mind: I was tired. For anyone who has taken a trip from the west coast to the east for just a couple of days knows, your body clock gets out of whack. I was in all day meetings and got very little sleep. Because of the time difference I couldn't get to sleep until 2:00 AM and had to get up at 6:00 AM (3:00 AM, my time.). In addition, I have a hard time sleeping in beds that aren't mine. I was bloated, because I ate like a pig. And, I was looking forward to getting back to my family. In addition I have a mild case of claustrophobia. I wasn’t in the best frame of mind.

Second, the situation: The plane was full and I was sitting next to this girl of about 25. She seemed pleasant enough. After the plane took off she started to cough. It then became quite obvious that she was sick and progressively getting worse. She couldn't hide it and it became quite apparent to everyone around her. As people tend to do, no one said anything but all seemed just a little uncomfortable. She was quite sanitary and did her best to cover up every time she coughed. However, her coughing was incessant.

Third, my reaction: This is why I am writing this; I was obnoxious. I was so concerned about not getting sick myself that I spent almost the whole flight leaning into the isle (I had an isle seat and she was in the middle.) I feel horrible about this. I know that circumstance put me in that position and there was nothing that I could do to avoid being next to her. I was either going to get sick or I wasn't. That part was out of my control. However, the way I acted was totally in my control.

Fourth, in Retrospect: My state of mind was a reason not an excuse. I should have been more sympathetic to her condition than to mine. I may have been able to help her get through a miserable flight a little bit easier. I was selfish and un-empathetic. This reminds me just a little of my "Cookies" post. I deserve to get sick because of the way I behaved.

Fifth, lessons learned: We all have a tendency to be selfish and uncaring. I am not proud of how I reacted. Where I was seated was out of my control. What I was able to control was my attitude, and it was horrible. What do I now do with that knowledge? First, I must remember it so as to not act like that again. Sometimes it's a lot easier to "talk the talk" than to "walk the walk." Second, I must forgive myself so that this does not turn into a negative attitude that could affect future behavior. Third, I must show some type of penance. I believe writing about it; putting it out for the world to see that I can be a jerk also sort of covers the penance piece. In addition, the next time I have an opportunity to be extra nice, I will jump on it. In fact yesterday at my favorite place to spend money, Costco, there was a lady behind me who had 2 items and I had many, many, many, items; so I let her go ahead of me. It felt good.

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Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #23f "Carry On!” – Female version)

If you are a male reader please go to #23m

(If this is your first time on this site, I recommend that you begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

Carry On!

It's easy to fight when everything's right,
And your mad with the thrill and the glory;
It's easy to cheer when victory's near,
And wallow in fields that are gory.
It's a different song when everything's wrong,
When your feeling infernally mortal;
When it's ten against one, and hope there is none,
Buck up, little soldier, and chortle;

Carry on! Carry on!
There isn't much punch in your blow.
You're glaring and staring and hitting out blind;
You're muddy and bloody, but never you mind.
Carry on! Carry on!
You haven't the ghost of a show.
It's looking like death, but while you've a breath,
Carry on, my daughter! Carry on!

And so in the strife of the battle of life
It's easy to fight when your winning;
It's easy to slave, and starve and be brave,
When the dawn of success is beginning.
But the woman who can meet despair and defeat
With a cheer, there's the woman of God's choosing;
The one who can fight to heaven's own height
Is the one who can fight when she's losing.

Carry on! Carry on!
Things never were looming so black.
But show that you haven't a cowardly streak
And though you're unlucky you never are weak.
Carry on! Carry on!
Brace back for another attack.
It's looking like hell, but--you never can tell:
Carry on, old woman! Carry on!

There are some who drift out in the deserts of doubt,
And some who in brutishness wallow;
There are others, you know, who in piety go
Because of a heaven to follow.
But to labor with zest, and give of your best,
For the sweetness and joy of the giving;
To help folks along with a hand and a song;
Why there's the real sunshine of living.

Carry on! Carry on!
Fight the good fight and true;
Believe in your mission, greet life with a cheer;
There's big work to do, and that's why you are here.
Carry on! Carry on!
Let the world be the better for you;
And at last when you die, let this be your cry:
Carry on, my soul! Carry on!

(Based on a poem by Robert Service)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• What do you really want to accomplish, where nothing short of death would stop you?
• If you felt that nothing could stop you, what cause or task would you pursue until completion, over-coming all obstacles?

Go to Section II (Installment #24f)

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Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #23m "Carry On!” – Male version)

If you are a female reader please go to #23f

(If this is your first time on this site, I recommend that you begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

Carry On!

It's easy to fight when everything's right,
And your mad with the thrill and the glory;
It's easy to cheer when victory's near,
And wallow in fields that are gory.
It's a different song when everything's wrong,
When your feeling infernally mortal;
When it's ten against one, and hope there is none,
Buck up, little soldier, and chortle;

Carry on! Carry on!
There isn't much punch in your blow.
You're glaring and staring and hitting out blind;
You're muddy and bloody, but never you mind.
Carry on! Carry on!
You haven't the ghost of a show.
It's looking like death, but while you've a breath,
Carry on, my son! Carry on!

And so in the strife of the battle of life
It's easy to fight when your winning;
It's easy to slave, and starve and be brave,
When the dawn of success is beginning.
But the man who can meet despair and defeat
With a cheer, there's the man of God's choosing;
The man who can fight to heaven's own height
Is the man who can fight when he's losing.

Carry on! Carry on!
Things never were looming so black.
But show that you haven't a cowardly streak
And though you're unlucky you never are weak.
Carry on! Carry on!
Brace back for another attack.
It's looking like hell, but--you never can tell:
Carry on, old man! Carry on!

There are some who drift out in the deserts of doubt,
And some who in brutishness wallow;
There are others, you know, who in piety go
Because of a heaven to follow.
But to labor with zest, and give of your best,
For the sweetness and joy of the giving;
To help folks along with a hand and a song;
Why there's the real sunshine of living.

Carry on! Carry on!
Fight the good fight and true;
Believe in your mission, greet life with a cheer;
There's big work to do, and that's why you are here.
Carry on! Carry on!
Let the world be the better for you;
And at last when you die, let this be your cry:
Carry on, my soul! Carry on!

(Based on a poem by Robert Service)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• What do you really want to accomplish, where nothing short of death would stop you?
• If you felt that nothing could stop you, what cause or task would you pursue until completion, over-coming all obstacles?

Go to Section II (Installment #24m)

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10 Rules of Focus

10 Rules of Focus

Being able to focus and concentrate are critical aspects of being successful. Unfortunately, they do not come naturally to most of us. For most of us it can be quite a challenge. I have discovered that being able to focus and concentrate are skills that must be learned. After years of telling myself that I am too easily distracted and just unable to focus I decided to do something about it; I have the right attitude, I can conquer this. The good news is that you are never too old to learn how to focus. So, as I have a tendency to do, I broke it down into components and created a guide of sorts. Consider these 10 rules to be your guide.

1. Define Your Goals

Be exact as to what you want to accomplish. Is it school work, a project for work, home improvement, a book you are writing, a blog that you are creating, a post that you are writing…..anything? What are your goals and how long will you need to attain them. What do you need to complete today. It is impossible for you to gain focus and concentration if you do not know what you want or how long it will take you to get there.


2. Prioritize Your Tasks and Organize Them

Most of us are not made to perform multiple tasks at the same time and perform them all well. After defining what your goals and tasks are, prioritize them. Decide what the more important ones are and put them in rank order. Only you can decide why one is more important than another. Be logical in this, not emotional.


3. Do One Thing at a Time, and Do It Well

Once they are prioritized start working on the one that is at the top of your list and only concentrate on that one. You will be surprised at how fast you can complete it if you put the other tasks out of your mind until this one has been completed. You will also be surprised at how well you can do it. If you have a project to work on, divide it into sections such as planning, gathering for resources, implementing the changes, and so forth.


4. Expect Distractions and Prepare For Them

When you begin your task, expect interruptions and distractions; nothing ever goes smooth. Just the fact that you know that something will go wrong will help in overcoming the distraction. As an example, if you have a hard time concentrating when there is noise around you (my biggest issue when trying to focus), choose some appropriate music and use headphones so as not to annoy others. Classical music works well for me. As I am writing this I am in an airplane listening to jazz on my headphones. There are noisy kids around me, but I came prepared. If you have to read or write and you don’t want to be disturbed, shut off the phone or go to the library.


5. Be Patient and Never Give Up

Do not expect to accomplish full focus and concentration right away. This will take time, but stick with it. It will get easier each time. By not expecting to gain full focus the first time you attempt these rules, you will not be disappointed in yourself. This, in my opinion, is the most important of the rules. If you have read any of my writing then you know that “Never giving up” is huge. Stick with it. It will get easier each time.


6. There Is a Price To Pay

Nothing comes free. Life is a compromise (this could be the genesis of another post.) In order to accomplish a task you will have to give up something that you may enjoy more. Again, understand this and accept it. Acceptance will make the act of compromise a lot easier.


7. Get Ahead of Yourself

To put it simply: avoid procrastination. The faster you begin to work on your goals, the better you will be able to attain focus and be able to concentrate, and of course, you will be able to complete the tasks that much faster. You want to avoid the discomfort of stress and pressure by leaving things to the last minute. If you begin to work on your goals ahead of schedule, you will be more able to focus and concentrate because there is nothing else to worry about except to get the job done.


8. Law of Diminishing Returns

This is an economics term: “beyond some point, each additional unit of variable input yields less and less additional output.” Know when you are too tired to concentrate and when to “give it a break.” Learn to tell when you are too tired to be productive. In my case, if I am working at my desk and I feel too tired to be effective, I put my feet up and take a 10 minute (maybe more) cat nap. This enables me to again become productive. For some it may be to stretch or to take a 10 minute walk. You might just need to eat something. Learn to recognize what your body is yearning for (this could be the makings of another post) and give your body what it needs.


9. Reward Yourself

The ideal reward for completing a job is the satisfaction that it is done and done to the best of your ability. However, that is not enough for most of us. If that is the case, then when the job is complete, allow yourself an indulgence; reward yourself. Eat some ice cream, play a video game, watch a television show, buy yourself something, etc. Allow yourself to feel good about what you have accomplished.


10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Once you have conquered the ability to focus, do not take it for granted. Continue to practice this new found skill. Take it one step at a time and follow these 10 rules. Before you know it will become second nature.

Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

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Quotes of the Funny Variety

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and having the two as close together as possible.
George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
Mark Twain

By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men, to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Charlotte Whitton

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now and then she stops to breathe.
Jimmy Durante

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: Alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
George Burns

I don't feel old - I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope

A woman drove me to drink - and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.
W.C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W.C. Fields

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns

Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Mark Twain

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Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #22 "Can-do” – Male & Female versions)

(If this is your first time on this site, you may want to begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

"Can-do"

Can you dream with all the senses that are you?
Can you smell the sweet aroma of desire?
Can you say the words that are screaming to come through?
Can you touch the passions burning like a fire?
Can you imagine the state of "Can-do?"

Can you feel all the colors that surround you?
Can you hear the wind as you begin to soar?
Can you reach for the sky and actually break through?
Can you yell? Can you shout? Can you roar?
Can you see the state of "Can-do?"

Can you unlock the powers that are within you?
Can you eliminate the doubt and know you will achieve?
Can you commit to rise each time set-backs befall you?
Can you look within and know that you believe?
Can you feel the state of "Can-do?"

Can you take control of this life that is you?
Can you decide what to do and when?
Can you be the person that you were meant to?
Can you declare that you'll never quit again?
Can you enter the state of "Can-do?"

(An Original Poem by Mel Kaye)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• Imagine...what would you do if you had no barriers (external or internal), however, stay within the realm of physical reality, the law and within your own moral and ethical value system?

Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

Female Reader - Please go to Section II (Installment #23f)
Male Reader - Please go to Section II (Installment #23m)

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From 2 Columns to 3 Columns, Successfully!

1. Create a test blog using the same template that your current blog is on.
2. Copy over some posts, your blog header and some of your side bar stuff, just some
3. Go to this site: http://weblensblogs.blogspot.com/2007/04/3-column-widgets-compliant-blogger.html and read the post
4. Go to the “New Widget Version” http://www.weblens.org/3%20column%20widgets.txt
5. “Select all”
6. “Copy”
7. Open up “Notepad” and “Paste”
8. Save
9. On your test site go to “Template”, “Edit HTML”
10. Check off “Expand Widget Templates”
11. “Select All”
12. “Copy”
13. Open up “Notepad” and “Paste”, then save
14. Go back and erase the code form your template on the test blog
15. Go back to the notepad and “Select All” and then “Copy” (the new code)
16. “Paste” the new code where the old code was
17. Click “save template”
18. You will lose most of your sidebar information, including all widgets.
    
19. “View Blog”
20. Take a look and see if you like it.
21. If you do, then copy everything form your sidebar, including all widgets, from your old blog over to the test blog and put them in the order that pleases you.
22. No need to copy “Labels”, “Archives”, “Posts” or blog header
23. If you are satisfied, then do it for real on your site.
24. When completed, copy back the widgets to your real blog
25. Fine tune; font sizes and colors.
26. You are done.

Disclaimer - I take no responsibility for any issues or lost data that may result.

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I DID IT!!

I Successfully converted to a 3 column blog. I need to do some fine tuning yet. I will let everyone know what the process is that I used in my next post.

Yeah me!!!!!


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Videos for the Mind

MindMovie for Success


Affirmations



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Wish Me Luck

Sometime over the next few weeks I will be converting my site over to three columns. I have found the code for a three column blogger site. I have set up a test blog. I have converted the test blog from two columns to three columns and it was successful. I did lose some of the widgets so now I know to copy them over from this site to the test site and then copy them back. I think I have tested for every major contingency. I just haven't quite worked up the nerve to actually make the conversion....but I will very shortly. Wish me luck. (And yes, this is a picture of my hand with my fingers crossed.)

If the conversion is a success I will post where I found the code.

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Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #21 "It Can’t Be Done” – Male & Female versions)

(If this is your first time on this site, you may want to begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

It Can't Be Done

The people who miss all the fun
Are the ones who say "It can't be done."
In solemn pride they stand aloof
And greet each venture with reproof.
Had they the power they'd efface
The history of the human race;
We'd have no radio or motor cars,
No streets lit by electric stars;
No telegraph nor telephone,
We'd linger in the age of stone.
The world would sleep if things were run
By people who say, "It can't be done."

(Based on a poem of unknown authorship)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• Look deep inside yourself and try to identify what you have always considered as "can't”s.
• Are they really??

Go to Section II (Installment #22)

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The 10 Things in Life that You Control

I found the following article to be very clear, concise and useful.

The 10 Things in Life that You Control
by Jim M. Allen

There are just a few aspects of life that we can truly control, and it's useful to know just what those areas are. If you don't know, you'll spend a lot of time blaming others for your own failings. Try and exert too much control in areas you shouldn't and the universe will create some interesting ways to remind of your place.

So be prepared an learn the 10 things in life that you DO control:

1. What you do

Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.

2. What you say

Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.

3. What you think

Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can't control. But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.

4. Your work

Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say "Oh, I'm trapped in my job because I don't have a degree, experience, etc." Hogwash! That's simple a way of denying one's responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place.

It's your job and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that's a choice as well.

5. Who you associate with

There's a famous t-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys."

Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.

6. Your health

Much of our health is a factor of genetics, environment, and exposure. Much more of our health is simply a matter of the things we choose: diet, excercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.

7. The environment you live in

Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live in, the amenities available to you are all things you can control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide to tolerate them or move someplace else).

8. Your finances

Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you make versus what you spend.

9. Your time

You choose how to "spend" your time and how much of your time to give to various activities. You'll never get more time than the 24 hours your given each day.

10. Your legacy

All your actions, words, and knowledge that you share while you are living become the gift that you leave when you are gone.


Jim Allen is a professional life coach, speaker, and writer. Get more great ideas in you email every week by subscribing to Jim's weekly newsletter, THE BIG IDEA, by sending a blank email to: mailto:Subscribe@CoachJim.com (©2001 Jim Allen & CoachJim.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED)


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Male Vs. Female at the ATM Machine

I just made the greatest new friend "Little Aussie Cynic.". You must read her post entitled Male Vs. Female at the ATM Machine

Attitudes for the Aging

• Are You Feeling Old Yet? (Humor)
• Baby Boomers Unite
  
• How Does It Feel To Be Old?
• PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
  
• Positive Attitudes for the Aging

Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #20m "Can’t” – Male version)

(If this is your first time on this site, I recommend that you begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

If you are a female reader please go to #20f.

Can't

Can't is the worst word that is written or spoken;
Doing more harm here than slander and lies;
On it is many a strong spirit broken,
And with it many a good purpose dies.
It springs from the lips of the thoughtless each morning
And robs you of courage you need through the day:
It rings in your ears like a timely sent warning
And laughs when you falter and fall by the way.

Can't is the father of feeble endeavor,
The parent of terror and halfhearted work;
It weakens the efforts of artisans clever,
And makes of the toiler and indolent shirk.
It poisons the soul of a man with a vision,
It stifles in infancy many a plan;
It greets honest toiling with open derision
And mocks at the hopes and dreams of a man.

Can't is a word none should speak without blushing;
To utter it should be a symbol of shame;
Ambition and courage it daily is crushing;
It blights a man's purpose and shortens his aim.
Despise it with all of your hatred of error;
Refuse it the lodgment it seeks in your brain;
Arm against it as a creature of terror,
And all that you dream of you someday shall gain.

Can't is the word that is foe to ambition,
An enemy ambushed to shatter your will;
Its prey is forever the man with a mission
And it bows but to courage and patience and skill.
Hate it, with hatred that's deep and undying,
For once it is welcomed 'twill break any man;
Whatever the goal you are seeking, keep trying
And answer this demon by saying: "you can."

(Based on a poem by Edgar Guest)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• What would you like to do but think you can't (within the bounds of physics, decency, morality and the law)?

Go to Section II (Installment #21)

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Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #20f "Can’t” – Female version)

(If this is your first time on this site, I recommend that you begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

If you are a male reader please go to #20m.

Can't

Can't is the worst word that is written or spoken;
Doing more harm here than slander and lies;
On it is many a strong spirit broken,
And with it many a good purpose dies.
It springs from the lips of the thoughtless each morning
And robs you of courage you need through the day:
It rings in your ears like a timely sent warning
And laughs when you falter and fall by the way.

Can't is the mother of feeble endeavor,
The parent of terror and halfhearted work;
It weakens the efforts of artisans clever,
And makes of the toiler and indolent shirk.
It poisons the soul of a woman with vision,
It stifles in infancy many a plan;
It greets honest toiling with open derision
And mocks at the hopes and dreams of a woman.

Can't is a word none should speak without blushing;
To utter it should be a symbol of shame;
Ambition and courage it daily is crushing;
It blights her purpose and shortens her aim.
Despise it with all of your hatred of error;
Refuse it the lodgment it seeks in your brain;
Arm against it as a creature of terror,
And all that you dream of you someday shall gain.

Can't is the word that is foe to ambition,
An enemy ambushed to shatter your will;
Its prey is forever the one with a mission
And it bows but to courage and patience and skill.
Hate it, with hatred that's deep and undying,
For once it is welcomed 'twill break any plan;
Whatever the goal you are seeking, keep trying
And answer this demon by saying: "you can."

(Based on a poem by Edgar Guest)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• What would you like to do but think you can't (within the bounds of physics, decency, morality and the law)?

Go to Section II (Installment #21)

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Trail of Joy

Trail of Joy

Over the last couple of weeks I have taken a journey of wonder and excitement. You know, it’s funny, how finding one beautiful and wondrous place can lead to another and still another. I want to tell just a little about this journey that I took and some of my new friends that I found along the way.

This journey started with “Kissing the Dogwood.” I am sad to say that I do not remember how I found this wonderful site. “Kissing the Dogwood” is subtitled “Being The Best You Can Be.” It is written beautifully with both flair and skill. It is poignant and sensitive with beautiful pictures and an absolute joy to read. Selina, you, in a sense, started my journey; for that, I will always be in your debt.

“Kissing the Dogwood” then led me to “A Nice Place In The Sun.” This site is subtitled “The Children's Book Site For Parents and Other Grown-ups.” This site is an absolute must for anyone who has or even knows small children. Ann, your site is an absolute charmer.

“Kissing the Dogwood” also led me to a very spiritual site called “gurushabad.” If you are looking for introspection or just feel spiritual, this is the place to go. After visiting “gurushabad” you may just know yourself a little better. I recommend this site to everyone. Surjit, we can all learn from you.

“gurushabad” then led me to one of the most visually pleasing sites I have ever seen. It is called “The Painted Veil.” One look and you are hooked. This site is also very introspective and just plain wonderful. Shinade, you obviously have put a great deal of time and love into your site; it shows. I am very impressed with the way that you have related to me on a personal level.

“A Nice Place in the Sun” led me to and absolute gem called “Comedy Plus.” Ladies, you all must visit this site. Gentlemen, if you are comfortable with your manhood, if you like strong women, or if you are just curious what the “other” side is thinking and if you are not easily offended, then take a deep breath and take a look. “Comedy Plus” is funny…no, I mean FUNNY! Sandee, you are now and forever a part of my life. At the risk of personal peril, I have shared your site with my wife and she loves it.

Well that is my current adventure in the blogesphere, truly a place of wonder and enlightenment. To all of you on my blogroll, you wouldn’t be there if I didn’t think your sites were worth reading and sharing. I truly hope that I didn’t offend anybody by omission.

I have never felt as fulfilled and passionate about life as I do when I am sharing and reading with my friends. I am actually getting a little teary eyed, so I think I will stop now.

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Happiness Is a Moral Obligation

One of the people that I admire, in regards to his clarity and stance on happiness, is Dennis Prager. He is a conservative talk show host. I do not agree with much of his political or social ideology, but my site is not for either political or social debate. There are many sites that take care of that very well. My site is dedicated to the pursuit, capture, care and feeding of a positive mental attitude. Happiness fits dead center!

This particular essay was written on Townhall.com. As both a writer and an aggregater of essays on Attitude, this one is a natural to reprint.

Happiness Is a Moral Obligation
By Dennis Prager

For much of my life, I, like most people, regarded the pursuit of happiness as largely a selfish pursuit. One of the great revelations of middle age has been that happiness, far from being only a selfish pursuit, is a moral demand.

When we think of character traits we rightly think of honesty, integrity, moral courage, and acts of altruism. Few people include happiness in any list of character traits or moral achievements. But happiness is both.

Happiness -- or at least acting happy, or at the very least not inflicting one's unhappiness on others -- is no less important in making the world better than any other human trait.

With some exceptions, happy people make the world better and unhappy people make it worse. This is true on the personal (micro) and global (macro) planes.

On the micro plane:

Consider the effects of an unhappy parent on a child. Ask people raised by an unhappy parent if that unhappiness hurt them.

Consider the effects of an unhappy spouse on a marriage.

Consider the effects of unhappy children on their parents. I know a couple that has four middle-aged children of whom three are truly extraordinary people, inordinately well adjusted and decent. The fourth child has been unhappy most of his life and has been a never-ending source of pain to the parents. That one child's unhappiness has always overshadowed the joy that the parents experience from the other three children. Hence the saying that one is no happier than one's least happy child.

Consider the effects of a brooding co-worker on your and your fellow workers' morale -- not to mention the huge difference between working for a happy or a moody employer.

We should regard bad moods as we do offensive body odor. Just as we shower each day so as not to inflict our body odors on others, so we should monitor our bad moods so as not to inflict them on others. We shower partly for ourselves and partly out of obligation to others. The same should hold true vis a vis moods; and just as we avoid those who do not do something about their body odor we should avoid whenever possible those who do nothing about their bad moods.

The flip side of the damage unhappy people do when they subject others to their unhappiness is the good that people do when they are, or at least act, happy. Just think of how much more you want to help people when you are in particularly happy mood and you realize how much more good the happy are likely to do.

On the macro plane, the case for the relationship between happiness and goodness is as apparent.

It is safe to say that the happiest Germans were not those who joined the Nazi Party. Nor did the happiest Europeans become Communists. And happy Muslims are not generally among those who extol death. The motto of Hamas and other Islamic groups engaged in terror, "We love death as much as [Americans, Jews] love life," does not appeal to happy Muslims.

Cults, hysteria and mass movements all appeal to the unhappy far more than to the happy. It is one more example of the genius of America's Founders to include "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" in the Declaration of Independence. No other major civilization so enshrined happiness as a core value. This American belief in the moral and societal merit in pursuing happiness is a major reason America has developed differently than Europe. The American emphasis on happiness is one reason no fanatical political or religious movement, Left or Right, has been able to succeed in America as such movements have repeatedly succeeded in Europe.

The pursuit of happiness is not the pursuit of pleasure. The pursuit of pleasure is hedonism, and hedonists are not happy because the intensity and amount of pleasure must constantly be increased in order for hedonism to work. Pleasure for the hedonist is a drug.

But the pursuit of happiness is noble. It benefits everyone around the individual pursuing it, and it benefits humanity. And that is why happiness is a moral obligation.

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