Laws of Success

The following article, about the Laws of Success, is fundamentally true. Knowing these laws and internalizing them can only be beneficial. These laws are a great compliment to my “Process.” I look at my “Process” (Are You Prepared For Success?) as the CORE of a happy, healthy and successful person. The following Laws of Success can be viewed as an outer ring to the core. This concept will be the focus of a future post.

Laws of Success

By: Andrew Cocks

Just as there are physical laws that govern how the physical world works, gravity, for example, there are also laws that govern how the universe works. Understanding these laws is critical to achieving success, learn them and work with them, not against them.

1. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation

Basically, this law states that what starts as energy changes into what is physical. Everything around you, everything you see, hear, smell, touch, or taste began as energy.

The vibration of that energy forms what is physical. Everything is in constant motion, and that motion is always changing. Energy can not be created or destroyed, just moved and changed. Our thoughts make themselves manifest in the physical world. In other words, what we think about, we bring about.

2. The Law of Relativity

The way we perceive any object, thing, person, or idea is always relative to how we see another object, thing, person, or idea. It's the way we gage what we see, bigger, smaller, good, bad, better, worse. The whole universe is designed to work together, with all the laws corresponding rather than conflicting.

All the laws apply equally to everything in the universe regardless of their size, strength, or awareness of the laws. Everything in the universe has its own rate of vibration, high, low, and in-between, we can only evaluate the rate of vibration based on a comparison with the rates of other things.

In your life, you see this law played out as you compare yourself to other people. You are reasonably attractive, right? Now, say someone enters the room who has entirely unfortunate looks, you feel simply gorgeous in comparison. But what if a supermodel enters the room next? How good-looking are you then? It's all relative. The core of this law is that everything in life just "is." Our perception shapes how we experience it.

3. The Law of Vibration

This law says that nothing is at rest in the universe, it's all constantly vibrating. Our awareness of that vibration is what we call feeling. Our feelings are determined by vibration, and we determine our rate of vibration by our thoughts and the paradigms we use to look at life.

You've experienced this if you've ever walked into an office or house where people were just quarreling. The tension in the air is thick enough to cut with a knife, and you instantly know you've interrupted something unpleasant.

Our thoughts consist of vibrations we send out to the universe. When we focus or concentrate on our thoughts, the vibrations grow stronger. Thoughts are the strongest vibration to move through the universe.

God created the whole universe, all that there is, seen and invisible from nothing, using thoughts and words. People are the only creation who share the power of thought with the Creator, and that makes us special.

This power to think, this gift of spirit, is what it means to be created in the image of God. Our thoughts and prayers are very powerful, affecting the physical world we live in.

Our awareness of vibration is what we call our feelings. We see what it's like to be in a negative vibration when we say, "I feel bad today." A positive vibration shows when we say, "I feel great today!"

Since vibration originates with our thoughts, we can control whether we live in a positive or negative vibration pattern. You use your brain to choose which thoughts you'll entertain; it doesn't choose a vibration itself. You're the master of your thoughts, of your vibration. Your thoughts steer your central nervous system into the vibration you choose.

Your mind is a storehouse of images, positive and negative, whatever you allow to take up room there. If you choose to dredge up, examine, and review the negative, you will move into a negative vibration, negative feelings will immediately follow. The reverse is true, positive thoughts lead to positive vibration and a positive mood.

4. The Law of Polarity

Everything has an equal opposite, up and down, good and bad, empty and full. There is no such thing as a one-sided coin. No object has only a left side without a right side.

Because everything not only has an opposite, but the opposite is also equal, we've got an immutable law that we can understand. If you measure the room and find it is eighteen feet from the wall to the door, you'll find it's also eighteen feet from the door to the wall.

Seems pretty obvious, but the understanding of this law will really change how you look at life. Say something you think is really bad happens to you, according to the Law of Polarity, there must be something equally good about it, too. Mathematically, if something happens to you that you see as only being a little bit bad, the flipside is that there's also a little bit of good in that, too.

Because of the Law of Polarity, you also get to choose your thoughts on every occurrence in life, is this a good thing or a bad thing? In reality, it just is. But you have the privilege of interpretation; you can choose to view it as a positive or a negative. From that choice, you set vibration in motion, determine your feelings, and ultimately your actions and results.

5. The Law of Rhythm

The whole universe moves in a repetitive rhythm. The tides, the seasons, day and night, we can count on these regular patterns to stay constant. If anything moves forward, something else must move backward; if anything grows greater, something else shrinks.

Every action causes a reaction, and results in a rhythmic swinging of vibration. You see this law at work every day in the peak and decline of your energy, the ups and downs that you experience, the way that our days are sometimes full and busy and sometimes slow and lazy.

It's helpful to realize that our moods have a natural rhythm of ups and downs, and that even in the midst of a relatively down mood, we've still got control of our thoughts. Choosing good thoughts, even when we feel down, propels us into a positive vibration, evening out our emotions and keeping us moving toward our goals.

6. The Law of Cause and Effect

This law states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What you send out into the universe comes back. Luck, chance, and accidents are non-existent. Everything in the universe is subject to universal laws, and everything that happens does so because it was caused.

We see the result of this law in the physical world, in our health, our bank accounts, and how people treat us. The way we get results we want is by working on the cause behind them. A changed cause must produce a changed effect.

One way to change your cause is to focus on it, using positive affirmations to point you in the direction you wish to go. In each area of your life, develop positive statements you can repeat in your mind regularly. These affirmations should be in the present tense, carefully crafted to focus you on what you really want.

7. The Law of Gender

This law describes how every seed has a gestation period. We see it in nature all the time; you plant carrot seeds, and can expect to wait about seventy days before the carrot is ready to eat. If you conceive a child, it takes about forty weeks for the baby to be born.

The same is true for ideas. They are spiritual seeds, and take time to become manifest. You must be patient when you plant a spiritual seed, an idea. It will show itself in physical form when the time is right.

Every idea that is given energy moves into the physical world. Everything in the universe has a masculine and feminine side. We see it in every person and animal, and even in the plant world.

The principle of both male and female in all things makes potential, regeneration, and motion possible. Both male and female are required for life to exist. This law demonstrates how everything comes about, how things change from what they were into what they become.

You may be familiar with some of these concepts, the structure and function of your mind, and the universal laws of the universe. Some may be completely new to you.

Understanding them is so important in the process of achieving your dreams, of living the purpose-filled life you were designed to live, of living in a way that is fulfilling and proactive.

If you're serious about making changes, about winning in life, about living up to your potential and helping everyone around you to do the same, you'll commit yourself to learning these Laws of Success.

Reflect on them, discuss them, and do all you can to comprehend them, teach them to others, too. The more aware you are about how it all works together, the more you can put these ideas and laws to work for you so that you'll experience more success and less frustration.

Laws+of+Success laws success process physical energy vibration law+of+relativity relativity universe perception law+of+vibration law+of+polarity polarity positive+vibration immutable law+of+rhythm rhythm cause+and+effect cause effects law+of+gender gender spiritual structure

Military Funeral

Some things just have to be shared. This is one of them.

In Texas we really do pull off the road and stop for funerals......nobody moves until the last car has gone by.



What follows is a message from Vick i Pierce about her nephew James' funeral (he was serving our country in Iraq):

"I'm back, it was certainly a quick trip, but I have to also say it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. There is a lot to be said for growing up in a small town in Texas . The service itself was impressive with wonderful flowers and sprays, a portrait of James, his uniform and boots, his awards and ribbons. There was lots of military brass and an eloquent (though inappropriately longwinded) Baptist preacher. There were easily 1000 people at the service, filling the church sanctuary as well as the fellowship hall and spilling out into the parking lot.

However, the most incredible thing was what happened following the service on the way to the cemetery. We went to our cars and drove to the cemetery escorted by at least 10 police cars with lights flashing and some other emergency vehicles, with Texas Rangers handling traffic. Everyone on the road who was not in the proc ession, pulled over, got out of their cars, and stood silently and respectfully, some put their hands over their hearts.

When we turned off the highway suddenly there were teenage boys along both sides of the street about every 20 feet or so, all holding large American flags on long flag poles, and again with their hands on their hearts We thought at first it was the Boy Scouts or 4H club or something, but it continued .. for two and a half miles. Hundreds of young people, standing silently on the side of the road with flags. At one point we passed an elementar y school, and all the children were outside, shoulder to shoulder holding flags kindergartners, handicapped, teachers, staff, everyone. Some held signs of love and support. Then came teenage girls and younger boys, all holding flags. Then adults. Then families. All standing silently on the side of the road. No one spoke, not even the very young children.

The military presence, at least two generals, a fist full of colonels, and representatives from every branch of the service, plus the color guard who attended James, and some who served with him .. was very impressive and respectful, but the love and pride from this community who had lost one of their own was the most amazing thing I've ever been privileged to witness.







I've attached some pictures, some are blurry (we were moving), but you can get a small idea of what this was like.






































THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST MOVING E-MAILS I'VE SEEN TO DATE .


This is important. I don't usually publicly ask that you link to one of my posts. However, this is an exception. It needs to be shared. Please link to this post, or you have my permission to copy and reprint it.


Military funeral Texas, military+funeral

Addicted to Coffee?

I am 63% Addicted to Coffee

I feel that I have a safe and controllable coffee addiction. Click on the link and take the quiz yourself.


addicted coffee safe

Achieve Your Ambition & Belief in Yourself

Another article of interest that discusses the subconscious mind and how controlling the input can unlock it's power fuel achievement.

Achieve Your Ambition & Belief in Yourself
By: Stephen Campbell

Fundamental to success in any vocation whatever is self-confidence. Unless a man believes firmly in his ability to succeed he can not achieve much. And, unfortunately, the tendency of many people is to personal underestimation. Looking about them, in fact, the generality of men fix their gaze wonderingly on some outstanding figure in their line of work, some acknowledged leader.

"I wish I could do what he has done," they say to themselves. "But it is of course impossible. He had advantages I have never had. He was better endowed by inheritance than I, enjoyed a better education. Mine is a pygmy mind compared with his. He is a born genius. That is why he has prospered."

This is the attitude consciously or unconsciously taken by most people. Nor is it surprising, in view of the belittling influences to which many are subjected from their earliest days. In childhood, their natural aptitudes unstudied, they are pitch forked into a rigid educational system making next to no allowance for individual trends. Parents and teachers, finding them "misfits" in such a system, but not appreciating the desirability of modifying the system, combines not so much to help them as to fill their minds with ideas of inferiority. They are reproached for their "dullness." Other children who happen to fit better into the school curriculum are extolled as superior beings certain to travel fast and far, while they, the inferiors, lag behind.

Later the terrible teachings of the heredity fanatics impinge upon them with crushing force. They now know what the matter with them is. If they did not get along in school and they unmistakably did not it was because they were born in some degree mentally defective. The best they can hope for is to earn a difficult living in a subordinate role. Thus influenced to disbelieve in themselves they are fated to mediocrity and obscurity unless a happy chance intervene as it often does to awaken them to a belated realization that they can accomplish more than they have thought possible. Otherwise they continue to flounder, continue futilely to marvel at their more successful fellows more successful largely for the reason that they have refused to acknowledge inferiority, and have, through good fortune and ill, clung to the belief that they have it in them to succeed.

"I can and I will," has been the creed of the victorious, whatever their origin, whatever the blessing or the blight of their heredity. With "I can and I will" they have climbed to the heights, even despite the handicap of a family history that would fill a eugenicist with dismay.

"Of course there are limits," as the wise William James once pointed out. "The trees don't grow into the sky. But the plain fact remains that men the world over possess amounts of resource which only very exceptional individuals push to their extremes of use." This doctrine of unused resources, of hidden powers, accessible to all if all would but learn to make use of them, is indeed one of the most important of modern psychological findings. And it is not based on theory merely.

It is borne out by an abundance of facts of every-day observation and by the results of scientific researches which go to show, more specifically, that there is in the depths of every person's mind what may figuratively be described as both a storehouse wherein are lastingly preserved all of life's experiences, and also a factory for the creation of ideas. Psychologists call this wonderful region of the mind the subconscious, and for the past quarter of a century many of them have been industriously exploring it.

achieve ambition belief yourself self+confidence pigmy attitude heredity inferiority flounder good+fortune William+James pshchological scientific+research abundance

Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #11 "Potential” - Male and Female versions)

(If this is your first time on this site, please begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

Potential
To achieve your potential,
You know that you can;
You must make everything
A part of your plan.

Eliminate the negative,
That's in your life.
Reduce the worry,
And get rid of the strife.

Focus your energy.
Keep your goal in sight.
Be ready to win.
Prepare for the fight.

Don't be distracted.
Keep moving ahead.
Dare to go
Where no one has tread.

(An original Poem by Mel Kaye)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• List what's most negative in your life?
• If you really wanted to, what could you eliminate?

Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

Go to Section II (Installment #12)

Potential Achieve eliminate negative

Do you give your cat baths?

I thought you loved me!

You just wait .. I'll get even with you for this....

You said the water was warm!!!!

I don't like you anymore.....

I'm gonna sit here until you get the towel ... now go!

You're squeezing too tight ... look at my eyes ... they say "tilt"!

No, I am NOT your good kitty!

What's wrong with you people? This is cruel....and....WET!

Why can't I get any traction?

I wish I could get on my knees to pray

No, no, no, no! Damn it all ... I said "NO!"

Cat+bath cat bath

eBay

eBay

5 Ingredients For Success In Law of Attraction

My last post was entitle "The Law of Attraction; My take on it." So for those of you who are unfamiliar with this concept, I thought I would post a brief summary by someone who has no bias.

5 Ingredients For Success In Law of Attraction

By: Khoon Eng

In this article, I will outline 5 ingredients for success in the Law of Attraction. Make the Law of Attraction a part of your life to achieve your goals and dreams. Whatever you want in your life, you can accomplish. Be it wealth, health, happiness, love and more.

Ingredient 1 is The Science of Getting Rich

There is a book that you should read to help you fully understand the Law of Attraction and how it can help you in your life with anything you want to achieve. The Science of Getting Rich, by Wallace D. Wattles can help guide you through how you can change your negative thoughts, doubts, worries, and fears into positive thinking and how this will help you achieve what you want in your life.

Ingredient 2 is Thoughts Become Reality

Your thoughts do actually physically manifest themselves in your life. Therefore, when you think negatively, those thoughts will bring about negative things in your life, ie. things you do not want. Negative thoughts attract negative events and things. The Law of Attraction can help you change your way of thinking. When you think positively you will attract positive things in your life. Your positive thinking can help you make those positive things in your life become a reality.

Ingredient 3 is Redirect Your Energy

You can redirect your energy by controlling your thoughts. Remember your thoughts do not have control over you, you are the one (and the only one) who can change the way you think. If you are like most people, you might constantly think about what you do not have. This is a waste of your energy and incurs negative thoughts about your life and yourself. You need to redirect your energy to be grateful for everything, and everyone you have in your life. By being grateful you will realize that you have a lot more than you thought you did, that you may not need more material things, that you have accomplished more in your life than you are giving yourself credit for, and that you can achieve what you want in your life. This takes the focus off of the negative thoughts of what you do not have, what you cannot have, and what you wish you had and redirects your energy toward being grateful for your life and everything in it.

Ingredient 4 is Visualization and Goal Setting

Positive visualization and proper goal setting is the platform from which you jumpstart your life and reaching your dreams. With positive visualization you can help your mind think positively and attract positive things in your life. You should spend at least five minutes a day with visualization. You should feel peaceful, relaxed, and calm. Visualize your goals and dreams using all of your senses. Visualize yourself as the person who has already accomplished these goals and dreams.

Ingredient 5 is Positive Actions Bring You What You Want

None of these ingredients of the Law of Attraction will work for you if you do nothing to make them happen. You must take action toward accomplishing your goals and dreams. Take the necessary steps to get there and you will.

success Law+of+Attraction wealth health happiness thought reality energy visualization positive action

The Law Of Attraction; My take on it

I have and will always be skeptical of anything that uses the word “secret” or “what others don’t want you to know.” The Law of Attraction is what is behind the book called “The Secret.” In my view, the basic Law of Attraction is sound, the problem is that when applying it to the attainment of wealth it is fundamentally flawed. However, applying it to wealth is the hook that draws in the people to spend their money and buy it.

In a way, it’s like a diet. There are hundreds and possibly thousands of diets out there, but for most people none of them work. The allure of weight loss, of the ease of the diet, using celebrities, appealing to our vanity, the fundamental concept of advertising is what is used to get us to spend our money on another diet that won’t work. Why won’t it work? It’s because our mindset is not there. We are looking for the easy way, the “secret,” the way with the littlest amount of work needed. If we are in the mindset that we will lose weight and do whatever it takes, then any one of the diets will work. It’s all in our heads! One of the hardest things to do is to step back from the situation and perform an objective analysis. We are too caught up in our lives to know what is best for ourselves.

When it comes to the attainment of wealth you have to be prepared. I have put together a program that will help prepare you for books like “The Secret” and I am not charging you a penny. It is all laid out in this blog “Are You Prepared for Success?” aka "The Process."

This is a complex subject and I could go on for hours, however, I just wanted to write a short essay. I elaborate more in the "The Process" and will probably write other essays with more detail.

Law+of+Attraction The+Secret secret law attraction diet appealing mindset objective fundamentally flawed advertising

How addicted are you to blogging?

50%How Addicted to Blogging Are You
I think that is is a safe place to be; I am committed but short of being committed.


addiction blogging committed addicted+to+blogging

Don't Mess With Kids

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it
was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale. 

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

***********************************************************

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
of children while they were drawing.  She would
occasionally walk around to see each child's work.  
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows
what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

*****************************************************

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest
of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

*****************************************************

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She
suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy,
one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while
and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of
grandma's hairs are white?"

********************************************************

The children had all been photographed, and
the teacher was trying to persuade them each to
buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer,
she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher, she's dead."

***************************************************

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer,
she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would
turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing up right in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into
my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

********************************************************

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head
of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God
is busy watching the apples”.

classroom kids teacher whale Jonah hell God jokes cry unhappy hair white

Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #10 "The Achiever” - Male and Female versions)

(If this is your first time on this site, please begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

The Achiever

The power of positive

Thinking is great.

As to this fact

There is no debate.

Great feats can be achieved

By woman or man

Simply because

You believes that you can.

Whatever the field,

Whatever the goal,

Whatever the task,

You know in your soul,

You know that it's true,

That no great achiever

Ever achieved greatness,

Not being a believer.

You too can be great,

Its not reserved for the few.

The next great achiever

Can actually be you.

You too can attain

These loftier heights.

Believe in yourself

And reset your sights.

(An original Poem by Mel Kaye)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• What do you need to believe in order for you to achieve?

Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

Go to Section II (Installment #11)

Achieve Achiever power positive poem motivational+poem great debate believes soul sights

BLOGGER'S CORNER - INDEX

• 10 Secrets To Advanced SEO Copywriters
  
• 12 Rules of Blogger Etiquette
• 14 Rules to Increase Blog Readership
• 75 Ways to Increase Site Traffic
  
• Automatic Technorati Tag Generator
• Blogger Burn-Out
  
• From 2 Columns to 3 Columns, Successfully!
  
• How Addicted Are You to Blogging?
• Promising Blog Award
  
• "Tag Your It." - Rules of Tag Protocol
• What is a Meme?
  
• Wish Me Luck (2 Columns to 3)
• Why Do You Blog?
• Why Do You Blog? - Reworked
  

Blogger's+Corner Blogger+Etiquette Technorati+Tag+Generator corner etiquette Technorati tag generator

12 Rules of Blogger Etiquette by MondayMorningPower

12 Rules of Blogger Etiquette by MondayMorningPower

1. If you link to a site, try to visit that site at least once every 2-4 weeks.
1. Always leave a comment on these sites.
2. Always be honest and encouraging in your comments.
3. Do not use gimmicks to attract readers. This will diminish the worth of what you are saying.
4. If you give a blog more than a casual glance, leave a comment.
5. If you see a blog that could have potential and you have an idea as to how to make it better, leave constructive comments.
6. If you find a blog that deeply interests you, link to it.
1. Announce in a comment in that blog that you have done so and invite the author to visit your blog.
2. It is okay to ask for reciprocity but do not make your link contingent upon this.
7. Encourage new bloggers, especially the ones that represent interesting content.
1. Offer to swap links. (This differs from #6. I believe that with a new blogger, offering to help with a link to their site should be reciprocated.)
8. When leaving a comment on a blog for the first time, let the author know how you found his/her blog, especially if you found it through a link on another blog.
9. If you want to increase readership, you have to read other blogs and leave comments. "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.”
10. If you reprint another’s work, be sure that you give credit to the author and link to the author’s site. Most authors, including me, do not mind if you reprint their work as long as correct credit is given and a link-back is established.
1. Be careful of copyright infringements.
11. Plagiarism is bad.......very bad.
12. Language and appropriateness is difficult to discuss. What is appropriate to one can be inappropriate to another. The same goes for language.
1. You do have the ability (“Flag Blog”) to notify a Blogger of objectionable content.
2. However, just like with television, you have the power to not visit objectionable blogs.

I have created this as a working document. I know that I have missed some points. Please, if you can add to this list, leave me a detailed comment and if I agree, I will update this post.

The more we can assist talented and dedicated aspiring bloggers the better the blogesphere will be for all of us. I do not see blogging as a competition, but a true sharing.

Blogger+Etiquette comments encourage reciprocate reprint copyright plagiarism language objectionable infringement sharing

Automatic Technorati Tag Generator

It took a while for me to find this, but I found it to be invaluable so I though I would share it with everyone, giving credit where credit is due.

In searching for information on "Blogger Etiquette", which I will write about on a later post, I came upon a post called "Top 20 Tips For Beginner Bloggers," of which I found some useful information. However, the following paragraph struck me as extremely useful:

"Use Technorati tags at the end of your blog posts. Technorati tags are a way of classifying your blog posts by topic and have them added to Technorati�s index (Technorati is the most important search engine for blogs). Use this automatic Technorati tag generator to avoid having to create the HTML code manually."

So I performed some extensive Google searches and came across the the following site: Fintan Darragh's Technorati Tag Generator.

For bloggers who want to increase their traffic, this is an absolute must!!

tag+generator automatic google blogs HTML manually increase+traffic code technorati

Don't Mess With Old Ladies

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don't Mess With Old Ladies







body+parts driving drunk gun hacked killed ladies license murder officer old registration speeding trunk