You Might Be A Redneck If...........(151 - 175 of 299)

Redneck Palm Pilot

First 25

151	You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
152	You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
153	You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
154	You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
155	There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
156	You think the Mountain Men in deliverance were just "Misunderstood".
157	You've ever made change in the offering plate.
158	If the fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year,"
159	You consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve...
160	You own at least 20 baseball hats.
161	You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.
162	You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
163	When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank!
164	Your biggest ambition in live is to "git thet big'ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah bubba's barn..."
165	Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.
166	When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can loose them or not.
167	You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
168	Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
169	Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
170	Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
171	You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".
172	You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
173	You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
174	You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the house of Tattoos.
175	You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
	Thank you Jeff Foxworth Next 25

Motivational Quotes (2)

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened,
vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
-Helen Keller

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence,
is the quality that most frequently makes for success.
-Dale Carnegie

I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world
are the people who get up and look for circumstances they want.
-George Bernard Shaw

Winning is not everything, but the effort to win is.
-Zig Ziglar

Don't just learn the tricks of the trade.
Learn the trade.
-James Bennis

I am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it.
-Thomas Jefferson

Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.
-Plato

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
-Aldous Huxley, author

To exist is to change; to change is to mature, to mature is to create oneself endlessly.
-Henri Bergson, French philosopher

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.
-Robert Frost, poet

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
-Malcolm S. Forbes

The facts are always less than what really happened.
-Nadine Gordimer, author

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
-Mark Twain

Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
-George Washington Carver

The best way to destroy an enemy is by making them a friend.
-Abraham Lincoln

I cannot think of many occasions when a smile is out of place.
-Charles R. Swindoll, author

Good management consists of showing average people how to do the work of superior people.
-John D. Rockefeller

Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory.
-Arthur Ashe

There is only one boss, the customer. And he can fire everybody in the company, from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.
-Sam Walton

A wise man does not try to hurry history. Many wars have been avoided by patience, and many have been precipitated by reckless haste.
-Adlai Stevenson

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.
-John F. Kennedy

Every vital organization owes its birth and life to an exciting and daring idea.
-James Bryant Conant, American educator

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.
-Mark Twain

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.
-Robert H. Goddard, pioneer of rocket research

I'm always busy, but always doing things I enjoy. I rarely occupy myself with things that bug me. I'm very fortunate in that not many of us are allowed to move around for kicks and get paid for it.
-Steve Allen - composer, singer, producer, conductor, songwriter and author

We must become the change we want to see.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

Fortune favors the bold.
-Virgil

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
-William Jennings Bryan

We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.
-Rudyard Kipling

Success can make you go one of two ways. It can make you a prima donna -- or it can smooth the edges, take away the insecurities and let the nice things come out.
-Barbara Walters

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
-Elbert Hubbard, U.S. publisher, author

Resolve not to be poor: whatever you have, spend less. Poverty is a great enemy to human happiness; it certainly destroys liberty, and it makes some virtues impracticable, and others extremely difficult.
-Samuel Johnson,
British author and lexicographer

If everyone is thinking alike then somebody isn't thinking.
-Gen. George S. Patton

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
-Helen Keller

People of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
-Leonardo da Vinci

See Motivational Quote Index for more quotes.