This is part one of a three part post.
Technorati Tag: cats
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Hello! Thank you for calling "The State Mental Hospital". Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up... our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Mental hospital phone menu
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Just ask for the " ARKANSAS CUT "
Brand new edition of...
"You know you're a redneck when......
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean ?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal*Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
I was tagged to do this meme by Sindi of Life is a Roller Coaster
KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU
Copy this entire list of questions and change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then tag and pass it along to other blogging friends. Let’s see how well we can get to know one another!
1. What is your occupation?
I am a Vice President of National Accounts for a major Real Estate Services company
2. What color are your socks right now?
3. What are you listening to right now?
Three barking of my dogs
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Home made apple crisp
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
9. Favorite drink?
10. What is your favorite sport to watch?
11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes, when I had hair
Three Dachshunds, Dexter, Oliver and Lucy
13. Favorite food?
14. Last movie you watched?
15. Favorite Day of the year?
16. What do you do to vent anger?
17. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Microscope and Chemistry set.
18. What is your favorite, fall or spring?
Spring, because everything is starting to bloom.
19. Hugs or kisses?
20. What kind of pie?
21. Do you want your friends to email you back?
22. Who is most likely to respond?
All of them
23. Who is least likely to respond?
I wouldn't email anyone who I know would not respond.
24. Living arrangements?
Me, my wife and three dogs in a house that is mortgaged to the hilt.
25. When was the last time you cried?
I honestly do not remember
26. What is on the floor of your closet?
27. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
I am not sending this to anyone. I will let anyone who wants to participate, participate.
28. The friend you have known the shortest amount of time that you are sending this to?
See # 27
29. Favorite smell?
30. What inspires you?
I inspire me.
31. What are you afraid of?
Nothing in this world
32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
33. Favorite car?
34. Favorite cat breed?
35. Number of keys on your key ring?
36. How many years at your current job?
37. Favorite day of the week?
Monday (for obvious reasons)
38. How many cities have you lived in?
39. How many countries have you been to?
Tags - Anyone who wants to take this on.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Mimi has a new meme that is rather unique. It is creative and has the all important "loop-back" configuration. Just copy from ****START COPY**** through ****END COPY****
Here are the rules:
You are about to send a virtual Message In a Bottle across the Blog Ocean.
Leave a message in the sand or on the bottle. Write anything you wish. Be a pirate or a poet. Serious or silly. Anonymous or not.
4. Post the Message In a Bottle meme and your creation on your blog along with these rules
5. Tag a minimum of 5 bloggers - or your entire blogroll - to do the same. Notify them of the tag.
Your virtual bottle will remain afloat in the blogosphere ocean for all blogernity (That's a Mimism for blog + eternity.)
I royally tag the following. You not have to be tagged to play! I will add your blog to the list when you let me know you've completed the meme. Check back often to copy the updated list for maximum link love. Enjoy.
1. Mimi Lenox 2. Mar 3. Hahn At Home 4. Comedy Plus 5. Carver 6. Lynt 7. Witty Writer Gal 8. Speedy Cat 9. Daisy The Curly Cat 10. http://grottynosh.wordpress.com/ 11. Misty Dawn 12. hanna 13. Mel Kaye 14. mary/the teach 15. Stacey 16. The Mama Bear - Penelope Anne 17. Crazy Working Mom 18. Mama Pajama 19. Jersey 20. Coffee2go 21. The Evil Blogger Twin 22. Pimp Your Blog 23. napaboaniya 24. Coffee Counter 25. Vixen 26. Akelamalu 27. Autumn 28. love,poetry and chat 29. DeeJay 30. Desert Songbird 31. OneLuvGurl 32. BlogBlast For Peace: The Official Site 33. Dating Profile Of The Day 34. Cookie Sushine 35. Kathi 36. Dottie 37. Travis 38. Linda 39. Idaho Daily Photo 40. Old Crone 41. AAL 42. trinity 43. hanna 44. Lesley 45. Leonard Blumfeld 46. Jamie 47. Kelly Cat's favorite human 48. Bud at WTIT 49. Opinionated Black Woman 50. Writer Cramps 51. Just About Scrappin 52. This That And The Other Thing 53. My So Called Site 54. It's All Good 55. Drowsey Monkey 56. gt281 57. JB's Small World 58. Bijoux & Banter 59. Everyday Healy 60. Reba's Run 61. Tell Me About It 62. Are We There Yet?
63. And Miles To Go Before We Sleep 64. Buffy 65. Rach (Heart of Rachel) 66. Monday Morning Power 67. Lunes 68. Alasandra & The Cats 69. Barbara 70. ~* ♥ Fallen Angel ♥ *~ 71. barbara in France 72. Julie's Blog 73. Tarheel Ramblings 74. Roberta 75. deep down the heart 76. Judd at The Rising Blogger 77. Sandee 78. Hello....Is This Thing On? 79. Momto3Cubs 80. Just Write 81. Pet Monologue 82. A Simple Life 83. Life Is A Roller Coaster 84. Leaping Before I Look 85. Your Caring Angels 86. On A Limb with Claudia 87. Sarah Spelled the Right Way 88. The Backwoods Drifter 89. Rose' World 90. Jo Beaufoix 91. Another Desert Rat 92. Caught In The Stream 93. Anyhow Blogs 94. Dixie's Heart and Soul 95. Wonderland Or Not 96. Marie Millard 97. Asara's Mental Meanderings 98. That Grrrrl 99. In Search of Life 100. Mimi Lenox 101. Laketrees 102.Amel's Realm 103. Clumsy Mommy 104. What She Said Too 105. Maryannaville 106. Odat's Mumblings 107. Much Of A Muchness 108. Late Bloomer Boomer 109. Mighty Mom 110. Blue Dreamer's Top Five 111. california is a recipe for a black hole 112. Balitang Kalye 113. Twisted Sister 114. Life and Adventure 115. PinayMama's Diary 116. Amazing Life 117. Terri Terri Quite Contrary 118. Run Away Thoughts of EMZ 119. Points of View 120. Filipina In Hawaii 121. BryningBunny's Challenge Page 122. Modern Musings 123. Sacred Ruminations 124. O'Ceallaigh & The Quill 125. Leaf Float Down River 126. Expressions and Thoughts 127. Chanel's Journey 128. Mickey's Musings 129. Castle of Nannbugg 130. ....on the Wall 131. Nyumix's Blog 132. ValleyGirl 133. Bits and Pieces 134. Apples of The Eyes 135. Trav's Thoughts 136. Kids, Cats, & Books...What Else Is There? 137. No More Mr. Nice Guy 138. Just Another Day In....Paradise? 139. moms......check nyo 140. Meezer Tails 141. When Silence Speaks 142. Wandering Consciousness 143. Mom Knows Everything 144. Hootin' Anni' 145. Julie's Jewels and Junque 146. New England Lighthouse Treasures 147. The Random Forest 148. Happy Life 149. Ramblings of An Idle Insomniac 150. Dana's Random Blatherings 151. Field Of Dreams 152. Royal Kitties 153. Small Reflections 154. Foster Me Up 155. Oh I've Got The Blues 156. Keep Fondly In My Mind 157. The Starr Ann Chronicles 158. Blogger Happy 159. Clean and Simple 160. Journey to Authenticity 161. Screw Perfection 162. The Morning Meeting 163. Foxxfyrre's Honk 'n Hollr 164. Choc Mint Girl 165. Betty's This and That 166. Kellementology 167. Crowns and Daisies 168. Slavery Bliss 169. Julie Pippert: Using My Words 170. Rose of Sharon 171. Minority Kills 172. Fil-Am Never Ending Stories 173. Valerie Joy 174. Isis Dominguez Lahora 175. Etavasi 176. Space of Reality 177. Will Think 4 Wine 178. Cap'n Dyke Lesbian Pirate Queen and Rogue Blogger 179. Mother of Shrek 180. Bogie's Wonderland 181. The Calalilly Space 182. Zaius Nation 183. Bits and Pieces by Jan 184. Precious Moments 185. Tertium Quid 186. Titration 187. Comedy Plus 188. When Your Only Tool Is a Hammer 189. Maya's Window 190. Our Two Little Princes 191. Strange But True 192. Awestruck 193. Pinay-At-Heart 194. The Big Leather Couch 195. The Cookie Sheet 196. Memoirs Of A Chaotic Mommy 197. Managing Autism 198. Find Out What Jen Finds 199. Hobbies & Such 200. Life's A Dance You Learn As You Go 201. Norte 202. Warmstone 203. Real World Mom 204. Chronicles & Tales Unlimited 205. The Beacon 206. The Best Is Yet To Come! 207. Luz de Luma, Yes Party! 208. Rojoy's Daily Update 209. Secret Agent Mama 210. Weird Sanctuary 211. The Furry Bambinos 212. The Kat House 213. Emila's Illustrated Blog 214. Larry Hnetka Goes Hhmmm 215.
The Salty Mooch 216. Teacher Julie 217. Missybw 218. Andrew 219. Mya 220. Jeff B 221. Ida 222. Anything Goes! 223. Hani Ali 224. Teeni
Want a button for your blog? Grab this code for your sidebar and check back often to see the message list growing and keep up with all the cool message bottles!
Here are my entries:
I tag my blogroll:
Posted by DubLiMan at 9:27 AM
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
This is a must. World Clock - have fun.......
According to their life expectancy calculator, the following holds true for me:
Biological Age - 59
Virtual Age - 47.3
Average Life Expectancy - 78
My Life Expectancy - 89.7
Please share yours.....
Monday, February 18, 2008
Are You Prepared For Success? (Section III - Installment #8 "It’s Never Too Late” – Male & Female versions)
(If this is your first time on this site, you may want to begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])
If you are a regular reader of my Empowerment Process please read the Section II version of this poem first; then read this version.
It's Never Too Late!
I'm no longer young, but not past my prime.
The realization sets in. I won't run out of time.
I know what's needed, the changes I must make,
The direction I must go, there's so much at stake.
I'm no longer comfortable, nor content with me.
My "failings" are not friends, they're the enemy.
I know it's not easy; there's some effort required,
To make the needed changes no matter if I'm tired.
I will try, I will do, try and I will not fail.
Over and over it’s not the same old tale.
I've found the reason to make the change,
A life altering reason, for my world to rearrange.
I'll no longer rationalize my fears. I will make the move.
I won't stay where I am, in this same old groove.
I will dare to take a chance on what might be.
I have what it takes to really be free.
My life will be different, no longer the same.
I'll look ahead with hope, not back in shame.
My past wasn't a failure, a sham or a fake,
I won't look at my life as one big mistake.
My past has a purpose, a reason for being.
It's what has prepared me for this time of seeing.
My past was the groundwork for this step to take.
My future is waiting. It's my decision to make.
There's was no magic answer for me to discover,
No hidden secrets for me to uncover.
I won't look for guidance, for the answer's in me.
I know what to do for I am the key.
I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.
- List the changes you will make so that you move towards the future you most desire.
- How will these changes affect your future?
Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved
Technorati Tag: more reasons to smile
Sunday, February 17, 2008
more reasons to smile
Friday, February 15, 2008
I think that you ladies will like this..........
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond... Dumb ass!
I believe that this post is one of the most important that I have ever written, so therefore I have brought it up to my front page again. This was done because of a challenge that was put out by Alex Shalman.com called the happiness Project. He asks five questions:
- How do you define happiness?
- On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your happiness now, versus when you were a child?
- What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness? (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day)
- What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?
- What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?
- A feeling of well-being and joy.
- Now - 9 Child - 3
- See below
- See below
- See below
For those of you have previously read my blog “Attitude, the Ultimate Power,’ aka “Monday Morning Power,” know that I have spent a lot of time discussing happiness and I have some very definite opinions on the subject. I am continuously trying to refine my thoughts and this is my latest attempt. I assure you, it won't be my last.
When discussing “happiness” most people speak of it in the following terms: “Striving to be Happy,” “Searching for Happiness,” I’ll be Happy when…,” and so on. To me, these statements conjure up a journey (a quest) with happiness as the reward for a successful journey’s end; in other words a successful result to the quest. If happiness is one of the rewards for successfully completing the journey then that journey, will more times than not, end in disaster. After all, not every quest is successful; with success being measured by achieving the goals that were set. The journey, or the “striving for,” is far closer related to one of the basic tenant of human nature, which is “not being satisfied,” than it is to “happiness.”
The basic fuel of Human Nature is "not to be satisfied." Human nature is to seek pleasure, to fulfill desires, to accomplish, to better our world, to never quit, to persevere, to constantly strive for "more." whatever the aspects of human nature that we strive for, we will never be satisfied. Insatiability and the resulting drive to be satisfied are at the heart of human nature. You can never have enough intimacy, food, love, accomplishment, money, success, etc. The problem that we run into is that many of us tie happiness to Human Nature”; feeling that we would be happy "if." For such a small word, so much can hang on it. "If" is considered a condition. As an example; polls show that people in general state that they would be happy "if" they had 50% more salary. Then, after that goal was reached and they were polled again, they would be happy with 50% more again. No matter how much we have, we want "more."
On the surface, not being satisfied seems to be selfish; a negative connotation. However, not being satisfied, which fuels the “striving” in human nature is actually a good thing, a very good thing. If it wasn’t for our basic dissatisfaction with what we have, the constant desire to have “more”, where would we be today? Without the desire for “more” there would never have been any inventions, discoveries, cures, art, etc. Again, where we usually go wrong is when we tie this concept of “more” to happiness.
Happiness must never be tied to human nature or else we are destined to be unhappy. We must learn to never qualify happiness. I am an absolute firm believer that happiness is a decision and that we can choose to be happy. I absolutely believe that anyone, anywhere, in any economic condition, in any health condition, with few exceptions, can choose to be happy. Why should the billionaire be any happier than the pauper? In fact, I bet there are, in relative terms, more happy paupers than happy billionaires. Sometimes it just gets down to “I’m happy to be alive.”
Now, to get back to the differences and ties between “happiness” and “human nature;” I have tried to sum this up in an original quote, “Human nature is what drives us; happiness is what sustains us.” Think of two perpendicular lines, one vertical (pointing up) and the other horizontal (pointing sideways.) The one pointing up represents human nature, a constant up-hill battle to achieve. The one pointing sideways represents happiness. We have the ability to maximize happiness no matter where we are on the vertical line, by the simple process of choice. What makes choosing happiness simple are two important concepts; “Gratitude,” and “Living in the Moment.”
By simply being grateful for what we have, no matter how much or how little, the choice to be happy comes so much easier. “Gratitude” is probably an entire article in itself. So for now, let’s just accept gratitude at face value.
The best way to get through life, with the most enjoyment and the least amount of stress, is to live in the moment. In order to effectively live in the moment you must believe in your ability to cope with whatever life throws at you. You must have confidence in yourself, the confidence that you will do the right thing. Knowing that you can effectively deal with any situation that comes your way will better enable you to live in the moment.
As a species, we have an innate ability to over complicate things. Unfortunately, this also applies to the simplicity of choice; now that’s not to say that choice is simple. We all have those inner voices that keep trying to drag us down, to influence us to make the wrong choices. To be able to quiet those destructive inner voices and replace them with constructive, nurturing and positive attitudes, again, is an entire book, which I am posting on my site.
Also, there are those instances where the individual does not have the choice; in the cases of clinical depression and chemical imbalance. These situations are unique and cannot be included in this article. I am not qualified to speak to these clear exceptions.
In order for me to best understand what my real choices are, my constant companion is Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Pledge: “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” If we can apply this in everything we do, the ability to be grateful and to live in the moment becomes easier; thus enabling us to choose happiness.
In addition, I also believe that happiness is a moral obligation. With few exceptions, happy people make this world a better place and unhappy people make it worse. Let me ask you; how do you feel when you are around a happy person? How do you feel when you are around an unhappy person? See what happens around you if you choose to be happy. Even if you fake it, it becomes contagious and before you know it, you are actually feeling happy. Why are you feeling happy? You are happy because you have made the choice to both live in the moment and be grateful.
Let’s see if I can tie all of this together into a clear bullet-point summary/conclusion.
- Happiness and Human Nature are on different paths.
- Happiness should never be connected to a result or a condition.
- Human nature is what drives us; happiness is what sustains us.
- Happiness is as simple as a choice however, a choice is never simple.
- The choice of Happiness comes easier when:
- It is based in “gratitude.”
- You have the confidence to live in the moment.
- Happiness is a moral obligation;
- The more happy people there are in the world, the better the world will be.
happiness Human Nature confidence gratitude,