Don't Mess With Kids

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it
was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale. 

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
of children while they were drawing.  She would
occasionally walk around to see each child's work.  
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows
what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

*****************************************************

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest
of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

*****************************************************

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She
suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy,
one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while
and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of
grandma's hairs are white?"

********************************************************

The children had all been photographed, and
the teacher was trying to persuade them each to
buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer,
she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher, she's dead."

***************************************************

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer,
she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would
turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing up right in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into
my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head
of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God
is busy watching the apples”.

classroom kids teacher whale Jonah hell God jokes cry unhappy hair white