So many of us tie happiness to the fulfillment of "more." The concept of "more" is one of the basic characteristics of "human nature." Happiness is not a function of human nature; it should not be tied to it.
The basis of Human Nature is "not to be satisfied." Human nature is to seek pleasure, to fulfill desires, to accomplish, to better our world, to never quit, to persevere, to constantly strive for "more." whatever the aspects of human nature that we strive for, we will never be satisfied. Insatiability, and the drive to be satisfied are at the heart of human nature. You can never have enough intimacy, food, love, accomplishment, money, success, etc. The problem that we run into is that many of us feel that we would be happy "if." For such a small word, so much can hang on it. "If" is considered a condition. As an example; polls show that people in general state that they would be happy "if" they had 50% more salary. Then, after that goal was reached and they were polled again, they would be happy with 50% more again. No matter how much we have, we want "more."
To want "more", in and of itself, is not a bad thing, in fact it is a great thing. To desire "more" is what has produced all of the great inventions and discoveries of our civilization; not to mention artwork and the overall betterment of the human condition. "Human nature," unfortunately, has also created what is "bad" in this world, like Hitler, Mussolini, street gangs, wars, man's inhumanity towards man, etc.
Where we go wrong is to base happiness on the attainment of accomplishment, or the achievement of a goal, or on any level of success (however we define it.) The result of this behavior is the assurance that we will never be happy.
If you have read my postings, then you know my basic philosophy of happiness; “Happiness is a decision.” Actually, happiness is a decision to be grateful for what we have, no matter how much, no matter how little. Happiness can be had by rich and poor alike. If you practice this philosophy "happiness is a decision to be grateful," you can be happy most every day of your life, while still striving for “more.”
Basing happiness on any aspect of human nature is a recipe for disaster; you assure yourself of never being able to attain happiness no matter how much you have or how much more you get.
To better understand how "happiness" and "Human Nature" can exist side by side I have created this following quote: “Human nature is what drives us, happiness is what sustains us." Think of two perpendicular lines, one pointing up and the other pointing sideways. The one pointing up represents human nature, a constant up-hill battle to achieve. The one pointing sideways represents happiness; we have the ability to maximize happiness no matter where we are on the vertical line, by the simple process of choosing and the power of gratitude. On the other hand we also have the ability to choose misery and sadness.
There are those who state that the world has so much pain and hardship, wars and evil, and that knowing this, "how can we be happy?" At the end of the day, it comes down to individual choice as to what we do with this knowledge. The vertical line that represents achievement can also represent the desire to change the world around us.
My constant companion is Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Pledge: “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” If we can apply this to everything we do, the ability to choose happiness becomes a lot easier.
The one thing to remember from this is that the "choice is yours!"
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10 comments:
Hi ! Have been reading a book called Half Time by Bob Buford. He talks about how in the first half of our lives, we pursue success, be it in careers, families etc. In the second half, we want significance. The money and status no longer mean as much.
PS I'm not moving house. I'm just creating another blog so I don't overly focus on just one topic in what's meant to be a broader discussion on money matters.
But Why health Matters is not being updated so you can decide if you still think the info on it is worth keeping the link.
Thank you so much for your comment!:) I really liked your articles. I agree completely that human needs can never be fulfilled. We will always want more...
P.S. I am not sure how to do the link thingy. If you can tell me, I would love to link your blog to mine.:)
And that"s why basing happiness on any aspect of human nature will insure that we will always be unhappy.
Yes! I added your blog to my Interesting Blogs.:)
I added you to my link list on my blog; Thank you for the offer!
I like the sound of the book mentioned by Karen. Western and other materialistic cultures seem to be experiencing an identity crisis. When people focus on prospective sources of happiness outside of themselves, they often discover a void that can't be filled. The quest for other kinds of significance begins for some people before the latter part of their lives.
Its not everyone's desire to have more of what they know they like, although for some people this is true. Consider the Thai culture for instance, where one of their philosophies says "to be satiated, one must simply taste flavors of sweet, sour, salty and bitter" during one meal. Less can be understood as "more" or "enough".
If happiness can only be attained by developing an appreciation of what one already has, and I think that this is the only way that it can be, what then is one to do when after having realized this basic truth about happiness one also realizes the extent that much of the world is currupt, violent, and harsh to its inhabitants? I find it hard to be happy the more that I learn about the way things work and the plight of so many people, not people that want more and cannot have it, but of people that cannot even meet basic needs. What of war, extreme poverty, starvation, genocide, and the fact that those with the power to help those who have little or none, generally don't. How is one to be happy with this alternative knowledge?
Anonymous,
Excellent, excellent question..... I have been waiting for someone to pose this.
“Human nature is what drives us, happiness is what sustains us”, an original quote by me. Think of two perpendicular lines, one pointing up and the other pointing sideways. The one pointing up represents human nature, a constant up-hill battle to achieve. The one pointing sideways represents happiness; we have the ability to maximize happiness no matter where we are on the vertical line, by the simple process of choosing. The vertical line that represents achievement can also represent the desire to change the world around us; in reference to your comments. It is our individual's choice as to what we do with that alternative knowledge.
My constant companion is Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Pledge: “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” If we can apply this in everything we do, the ability to choose happiness becomes a lot easier.
Now getting back to the knowledge of bad things in this world; if it bothers us then we must act, if it is in our control. That simple decision should bring happiness and every step closer we get to effecting change will also bring happiness, again, if choose it.
If we decide that it is out of our control, then we must move on with our own life and fulfill our own human nature desires. Now I can go on for hours in regards to desires, and the golden rule. But, I think you can see where I am coming from.
Anonymous,
Because of your question and my response I have gone back and rewrote this article to strive for a greater degree of clarity. Thank you for your thought provoking challenge.
Great readingg
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