Confidence is a critical part of a positive mental attitude. Therefor, I am including another article on this subject. This one looks at confidence as a function of self acceptance.
The Secret to Real Confidence
By: Jon Mercer
Sometimes the best secrets are hidden in plain sight. When it comes to developing confidence, there is one "secret shortcut" that took me years to understand, but it's so painfully obvious that I want to kick myself sometimes for not being aware of it all along. The "secret" I want to tell to you about is acceptance.
Understanding the importance of acceptance requires a little creative thinking. It is important to remember that confidence is never an "all or nothing" situation. We all have confidence to some degree, but it is a fact that some people have much more that than others. It is also a fact, that no matter how low your self-esteem may be right now, you do have some confidence. So it's a sliding scale, and just for the sake of argument, let's say that the confidence scale goes from one to ten, with one being least confident and ten being supremely confident.
To further make this point, let's say that right now your confidence level is a three on this scale, and your friend's confidence is a six on the same scale. Now, it's obvious that your friend is twice as confident as you, but at the same time his confidence level is still only a six out of ten, so it certainly could be a lot higher and your friend is very aware of this.
Now here is where the power of acceptance comes into the picture. Imagine that your friend, whose confidence level is a six, feels very bad about himself because his confidence isn't higher. But let's say that, unlike your friend, you understand that your confidence level is low, but you feel OK about that, and you're not judging yourself because of it. In effect, you are saying "my confidence level "is what it is" and I feel perfectly comfortable with that."
Now, who is going to be perceived as being more confident, you or your friend? YOU ARE! Every single time. Because if you accept your confidence level (no matter what it is) and are perfectly comfortable with it, you are going to come across as much more confident than your friend who does not accept his confidence level. You see how this works?
Another way of saying this would be, no matter what your confidence level is, accepting it and being comfortable with it will instantly make you more confident! Are you having an "aha" moment yet? I know I did when i first began to really "get" this idea. And the irony is, this is such a simple idea. Nevertheless, I overlooked this critical point for many years. Maybe you have too...
But once you understand the importance of acceptance, you can use this knowledge to immediately boost your confidence. All you need to do is begin where you are right now and make it a point to accept your current situation and your current level of confidence. Do NOT feel frustrated with yourself or your situation. Begin with a good feeling about where you are right now at this very minute. After a day or two of thinking this way, you will definitely notice a difference. When you begin any confidence building program from the point of view of acceptance, you are certain to see greater results in less time.
But be warned, if you begin trying to make changes in your life from a position of frustration, or self disapproval, you will find it much more difficult to create the results you want. Find a way to make peace with yourself and your situation where you are right now. Remember, the key to the whole thing is to start by accepting yourself just as you are right now. You absolutely can do this, and it WILL make a difference. Every single time.
secret confidence acceptance argument
This Site is dedicated to the development of your ATTITUDE, which is your ULTIMATE POWER. The content includes: Essays, Articles, Poems, Links, Inspirational stories, Quotes, Research, Music, an original series called the "Process" and Laughter....all focused on the Pursuit, Capture, Care and Feeding of a Positive Mental Attitude.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Secret to Real Confidence
Posted by DubLiMan at 11:39 PM
Labels: acceptance, argument, confidence, secret
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4 comments:
I have been trying to sustain a positive attitude for a long while now and I must say it is quite a difficult task.It's funny, just when I realize I am starting to feel good about myself,my mind starts to wonder why am I feeling good?Why am i not worried!!then self doubt comes back in my mind hence starting the whole cycle of trying to stay positive and focused!!! It's quite a vicious cycle!!!
Steven,
Nobody says that it is easy. Like training for a marathon, you have to train your brain to only think positively. It is an ongoing process. When negative feeling come over you, step away for a moment and try to understand, objectively, that negativity is bad and act accordingly.
This may be a little self-serving, but you should read my "process" http://mondaymorningpower.blogspot.com/2007/06/process-are-you-prepared-for-success.html from the beginning. It will help, if you want it to.
! I've just had the "aha!" moment you are talking about. Before I read your post ! First, thank you for popping by. Second, I have atually decided to give up my blog that attempts to sell stuff. It's giving up on internet marketing cos I've realised I just cannot bring myself to sell stuff I don't believe in and make money off people that way. But while I was upsetting myself feeling like a failure cos I couldn't sell anything, I've come to realise it isn't a reflection of my being a failure as a person. I'm just not wired that way. I haven't given up my goal of financial freedom. I'm merely re-examining my route there. No need to keep banging my head against the wall just to prove I've got persistence ! I'll keep the goal in sight and see how I can get there.
3. Have you checked out www.wordpress.com ? Free blogs too, but much prettier templates ! The Lonely Surfer will be hosted on that.
Karen
Karen,
Let me know when you re-establish. I would like to swap links with you again.
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