A Question of Attitude
By MondayMorningPower
On Friday I was flying from Charlotte, NC, back to Los Angeles when I encountered a situation that, in retrospect, I handled poorly. I was in Charlotte for a 2 day sales conference.
First, my state of mind: I was tired. For anyone who has taken a trip from the west coast to the east for just a couple of days knows, your body clock gets out of whack. I was in all day meetings and got very little sleep. Because of the time difference I couldn't get to sleep until 2:00 AM and had to get up at 6:00 AM (3:00 AM, my time.). In addition, I have a hard time sleeping in beds that aren't mine. I was bloated, because I ate like a pig. And, I was looking forward to getting back to my family. In addition I have a mild case of claustrophobia. I wasn’t in the best frame of mind.
Second, the situation: The plane was full and I was sitting next to this girl of about 25. She seemed pleasant enough. After the plane took off she started to cough. It then became quite obvious that she was sick and progressively getting worse. She couldn't hide it and it became quite apparent to everyone around her. As people tend to do, no one said anything but all seemed just a little uncomfortable. She was quite sanitary and did her best to cover up every time she coughed. However, her coughing was incessant.
Third, my reaction: This is why I am writing this; I was obnoxious. I was so concerned about not getting sick myself that I spent almost the whole flight leaning into the isle (I had an isle seat and she was in the middle.) I feel horrible about this. I know that circumstance put me in that position and there was nothing that I could do to avoid being next to her. I was either going to get sick or I wasn't. That part was out of my control. However, the way I acted was totally in my control.
Fourth, in Retrospect: My state of mind was a reason not an excuse. I should have been more sympathetic to her condition than to mine. I may have been able to help her get through a miserable flight a little bit easier. I was selfish and un-empathetic. This reminds me just a little of my "Cookies" post. I deserve to get sick because of the way I behaved.
Fifth, lessons learned: We all have a tendency to be selfish and uncaring. I am not proud of how I reacted. Where I was seated was out of my control. What I was able to control was my attitude, and it was horrible. What do I now do with that knowledge? First, I must remember it so as to not act like that again. Sometimes it's a lot easier to "talk the talk" than to "walk the walk." Second, I must forgive myself so that this does not turn into a negative attitude that could affect future behavior. Third, I must show some type of penance. I believe writing about it; putting it out for the world to see that I can be a jerk also sort of covers the penance piece. In addition, the next time I have an opportunity to be extra nice, I will jump on it. In fact yesterday at my favorite place to spend money, Costco, there was a lady behind me who had 2 items and I had many, many, many, items; so I let her go ahead of me. It felt good.
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Sunday, August 26, 2007
A Question of Attitude
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13 comments:
Sometimes life needs instant replay so we can see where we messed up and learn about it. There will always be learning situations in our life. When we quit learning, we quit living.
74wixygrad,
Very well put. The trick is to always learn and remember what we learn.
Thanks for sharing these golden nuggets with us. I've learned a vast many things on this journey of mine, but I often find myself revisiting the very things I said I would not repeat. I suppose some of us have to go the long way around the block before finally hitting home.
~inspired to do better~
Ambre,
It only goes to prove that we are imperfect creatures and we screw up sometimes. We have to learn from it and do better next time.
It's funny,why can't we realize we are doing or acting wrongly at that precise moment? Why must we reflect afterwards to realize how much of jerk we were???
Great Post
Steven
Steven,
Excellent question!! I think this has the making of another post. My gut response is that at the momenet, self preservation plays the key role, even if the thought process that got us there is faulty.
One's primary reflex and responsibilty is is towards one's own self. I don't think you were a jerk for what you did. You could even have asked to be seated elsewhere, which you did not. It does not reflect badly on your behavior at all. You may choose to be sympathetic to a person, but inhaling her germs is not the best or positive way to show it.
Rambodoc,
I appreciate your comments, however, the plane was full. I could not be reseated, the cards were dealt and I had to play the hand that I was given. I acted poorly.
Well, I can understand your concern. She is 25 and we are in our 50s. When we get sick it is much worse. I would guess a whole bunch of folks will get sick behind her with all that recirculated air. It wasn't nice of her to travel when sick either. Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm a Costco fan too. Have a great day. :)
People do all sorts of assholic things on airplanes. Leaning away from a sick person is waaaaay down on the obnox-o-meter. Give yourself a little break on this one, dude.
Hi Mel,
I have awarded you, man! Please come and collect your award at:
http://maxcouti.blogspot.com/2007/08/hey-another-award.html
Cheers!
Baba,
Maybe I was a little hard on myself. But, I still feel bad about the way I behaved.
Max,
THANK YOU!!!!
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