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Names I Use

To avoid any confusion I thought it appropriate to list the names (cyber) I go by.
My Names:
Mel Kaye-(my real name), MondayMorningPower,
MMP, Killeris-(Technorati name), Powerkis-(Wordpress name), SiFiBiBi-(Original Blogger name)
Site Names:
Attitude, The Ultimate Power-(Blog name)
MondayMorningPower-(Blog AKA)
It's All About Attitude-(Blog AKA)

My email address: info (at) MondayMorningPower dot Com

Why read Monday Morning Power?

You will find a consistency and a focus in all of my content that can change your attitude which can fuel a positive change in your life, if you want it to. If you are happy with your attitude and your life and see no reason for changing, then you either already have a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude), or you are a victim and want to hold onto your misery. These postings will then serve to fortify the person with PMA, or, hopefully, convince the "victim" that there is a better way. This site will contain essays, poems, stories, humor and links, all with the same goal: The pursuit, capture, care and feeding of a Positive Mental Attitude. I have had readers tell me that they have spent hours on my site and feel great about themselves both during and after. I log onto my own site frequently to help fuel my attitude; I hope you will as well.

To My Fellow Bloggers.....

Please feel free to link my blog to yours. A dose of "Monday Morning Power" would bolster any blog, except for those that profess doom, destruction and the end of the world. If you want to use any of my content in your blog, please ask first via email or by comment. I will need to review your blog for appropriate content and then give you written permission as well as being sure that you link back.

Monday Morning Power

A dose of "Monday Morning Power" and a cup of coffee and you're ready for whatever awaits you. At a minimum you should read this blog on Monday Mornings. However, there will be new posts daily. Whenever you want to feel good, tune in and help yourself to some "Monday Morning Power." Please share this site with everyone you care about. I welcome your comments and suggestions

About Me

My photo
My goal is to help my clients navigate the “residential investment property” market; make some money and have some fun in the process. This real estate market is ripe for the investor. In addition, I would like to help the home buyer and home seller. I am part of an 80,000+ agent network that spans all of North America. Being on the “inside” I can find you the “right” agent to handle your specific needs no matter where in North America you may reside. I have been in and arround the real estate market for most of my professional life and want to be your resource for making money in this market. I have been negotiating all of my life and want to negotiate great deals for you. Following is my contact information and my philosophies: Mel Kaye (Broker Associate) Keller Williams Realty Direct: PCH.MEL.KAYE (724.635.5293) Mobile: 805.300.1769 Fax: 888.371.1190 Email: YESmelYES@gmail.com Website: http://melkaye.com Skype: Mel.Kaye Lic #: 00742678 340 N. Westlake Blvd., Suite 100 Westlake Village, CA 91362


My blog is worth $578,088.96.
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This Site is dedicated to the development of your ATTITUDE, which is your ULTIMATE POWER. The content includes: Essays, Articles, Poems, Links, Inspirational stories, Quotes, Research, Music, an original series called the "Process" and Laughter....all focused on the
Pursuit, Capture, Care and Feeding of a Positive Mental Attitude.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happiness

I was asked by Bob Clubbs of “every, every minute” to participate in the Desiderata Series. I have chosen to write an article on “Strive to be Happy.” Since choosing this topic, “Be Cheerful” has been added. Now in my opinion “cheerful” and “happy” do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. However, they will be connected in this article. This article can also be found on Bob Clubb's site: every, every minute.

For those of you have read my blog “Attitude, the Ultimate Power,’ aka “Monday Morning Power,” know that I have spent a lot of time discussing happiness and I have some very definite opinions on the subject.

Let’s start with the requested premise of “Strive to be Happy.” This statement conjures up a journey (a quest) with happiness as the end reward for a successful journey’s end; in other words a successful result. If happiness is the reward for successfully completing the journey then that journey, will more times than not, end in disaster. After all, not every journey is successful. I talk at length about this in Happiness Vs. Human Nature. The journey, or the “striving for,” is far closer related to one of the basic tenant of human nature, which is “not being satisfied,” than it is to “happiness.”

On the surface, not being satisfied seems to be selfish; a negative connotation. However, not being satisfied, which fuels the “striving” in human nature is actually a good thing, a very good thing. If it wasn’t for our basic dissatisfaction with what we have, the constant desire to have “more”, where would we be today? Without the desire for “more” there would never have been any inventions, discoveries, cures, art, etc. Where we usually go wrong is when we tie this concept of “more” to happiness.

Happiness must never be tied to human nature or else we are destined to be unhappy. I also wrote a piece on this subject “Happiness Made Simple”. We must learn to never qualify happiness. I am an absolute firm believer that happiness is a decision; that we can choose to be happy. I absolutely believe that anyone, anywhere, in any economic condition, in any health condition, with few exceptions, can choose to be happy. Why should the billionaire be any happier than the pauper? In fact, I bet there are, in relative terms, more happy paupers than happy billionaires. Sometimes it just get’s down to “I’m happy to be alive.”

Now, to get back to the differences and ties between “happiness” and “human nature;” I have tried to sum this up in an original quote, “Human nature is what drives us; happiness is what sustains us.” Think of two perpendicular lines, one vertical (pointing up) and the other horizontal (pointing sideways.) The one pointing up represents human nature, a constant up-hill battle to achieve. The one pointing sideways represents happiness. We have the ability to maximize happiness no matter where we are on the vertical line, by the simple process of choice. What makes choosing happiness simple is another very important concept called “Gratitude.”

By simply being grateful for what we have, no matter how much or how little, the choice to be happy comes so much easier. “Gratitude” is probably an entire article in itself. So for now, let’s just accept gratitude on face value. One of my favorite posts is the “Gratitude Dance.”

As a species, we have an innate ability to over complicate everything. Unfortunately, not everyone has the ability to understand the simplicity of choice; now that’s not to say that choice is simple. We all have those inner voices that keep trying to drag us down, to influence us to make the wrong choices. Without getting to far off topic, I am posting an entire series on how to quiet your inner demons called “The Process - "Are You Prepared for Success?".” I am also a huge fan of the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” (Music Videos - Positive Attitude / Feel Good.) Don’t worry, be happy is a choice. One has to have to right internal frame of mind to be able to make that choice; the choice between “worrying” and “happiness.” Again, I have written an entire series on that frame of mind; The Process - "Are You Prepared for Success?"

In order for me to best understand what my real choices are, my constant companion is Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Pledge: “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” If we can apply this in everything we do, the ability to choose happiness becomes a lot easier.

As I said in the beginning of this article I was going to connect “cheerful” with “happy.” I see “cheerful” as an outward manifestation of being happy. This brings me to another important concept: “Happiness is a Moral Obligation.” With few exceptions, happy people make this world a better place and unhappy people make it worse. Let me ask you; how do you feel when you are around a happy person? How do you feel when you are around an unhappy person? See what happens around you if you choose to be happy, expressing cheerfulness. Even if you fake it, it becomes contagious and before you know it, you are actually feeling happy. Why are you feeling happy? You are happy, because you have made the choice to be living in the moment.

Let’s see if I can tie all of this together into a clear bullet-point summary/conclusion.

  • Happiness should never be connected to a result or a condition.
  • Happiness is a choice.
  • Happiness comes easier when it is based in “gratitude.”
  • Happiness is also living in the moment.
  • Happiness is a moral obligation.




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14 comments:

Amel's Realm said...

ENCORE, Mel!!!

SPLENDID post! I LOVE everything you write in this post...I also believe happiness is a choice and I ALWAYS love that Serenity Pledge: hope I can always remember it and put it into practice. ;-D

Monday Morning Power said...

Amel,
I love your enthusiasm!!

Bobby said...

I do agree, Especially that happiness is a choice. It's not easy for many people to be happy, but we can learn how to feel happy:)

Monday Morning Power said...

Bobby,
You know its funny, when you feel happy you actually become happy. As the saying goes "fake it till you make it."

i beati said...

Happiness is a choice most definitely !! sk

Monday Morning Power said...

i beati,
Too bad more people don't realize that. So many think that happiness is a pursuit.

Baba Doodlius said...

"Happiness should never be connected to a result or a condition."

Well, what about a "happy ending"?

:)

Monday Morning Power said...

Baba,
Do you always believe everything that you read. A "happy Ending" sounds great, and let's face it, everybody loves a "happy ending." The problem here is that "ending" is a result, so in my view, "happy" should not be attached to it. A good way of looking at this is to think of "happy ending" in terms of a third party, such as watching a movie. Then it makes sense; in that you are witnessing a set of events that are not in your control. When you refer to it in your own life (first person), then happy & ending should not go together.

I'm not sure if your comment was tongue and cheek or serious. It was, however, a great challenge. Thank you for it.

Marja said...

Great read. Yes According to the
hierarchie of Maslow we are always evolving to a different level of satisfaction in a different area.

I also believe that happiness is a choice. My brother travelled through India and the people there seemed much happier than us.

According to a study however if basic needs are not met there is a huge difference in happiness. Between having them met and being stinking rich is not much difference in happiness according too that study. There is something too say for that as well.

have a nice day.

Sunny said...

I have found for me, that I am better able to choose my happiness when I choose to love myself. No easy task some days. Thanks for the lovely post. I sent it to my husband - he's in the you can't choose to be happy camp. I haven't been able to explain my thoughts and your post put it quite well.

Monday Morning Power said...

Marja,
I always though I had a little eastern philosophy in me.

Monday Morning Power said...

Sunny,
Sometimes it can be difficult to switch camps. You will have to pull him along gently.

Max said...

Hey Mel,

Delightful, this post of yours!

I agree with you: happiness is a choice! The same way unhappiness is; and most people choose to be unhappy!
Here, in Portugal, it is usual to hear people saying that there isn't happiness, only happy moments. I say: BS (pardon my french)! And people look at me as if I were an alien or something lol...
I chose to be happy, cause I am not a teenager anymore (teens are entitled to be depressed, although my mom forbode me to be so lol); I am an adult who is grateful for every single moment in this life. God gave me good moments to enjoy them, and bad moments so that I could learn from them...and that's that!

The problem with people is that they don't accept life as it presents itself to them (they want to fight it, they want to question it, they want to feel miserable, they opt by not understanding existence...).

I loved the summary, and I agree with it, in its entirety.

Cheers

Monday Morning Power said...

Max,
I know that you would be on the choice side of the equation. For some people, like you, it's "Duh, tell me something I don't know." And there are others who will fight tooth and nail to convince themselves and everyone around them that they are unhappy because............