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Names I Use

To avoid any confusion I thought it appropriate to list the names (cyber) I go by.
My Names:
Mel Kaye-(my real name), MondayMorningPower,
MMP, Killeris-(Technorati name), Powerkis-(Wordpress name), SiFiBiBi-(Original Blogger name)
Site Names:
Attitude, The Ultimate Power-(Blog name)
MondayMorningPower-(Blog AKA)
It's All About Attitude-(Blog AKA)

My email address: info (at) MondayMorningPower dot Com

Why read Monday Morning Power?

You will find a consistency and a focus in all of my content that can change your attitude which can fuel a positive change in your life, if you want it to. If you are happy with your attitude and your life and see no reason for changing, then you either already have a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude), or you are a victim and want to hold onto your misery. These postings will then serve to fortify the person with PMA, or, hopefully, convince the "victim" that there is a better way. This site will contain essays, poems, stories, humor and links, all with the same goal: The pursuit, capture, care and feeding of a Positive Mental Attitude. I have had readers tell me that they have spent hours on my site and feel great about themselves both during and after. I log onto my own site frequently to help fuel my attitude; I hope you will as well.

To My Fellow Bloggers.....

Please feel free to link my blog to yours. A dose of "Monday Morning Power" would bolster any blog, except for those that profess doom, destruction and the end of the world. If you want to use any of my content in your blog, please ask first via email or by comment. I will need to review your blog for appropriate content and then give you written permission as well as being sure that you link back.

Monday Morning Power

A dose of "Monday Morning Power" and a cup of coffee and you're ready for whatever awaits you. At a minimum you should read this blog on Monday Mornings. However, there will be new posts daily. Whenever you want to feel good, tune in and help yourself to some "Monday Morning Power." Please share this site with everyone you care about. I welcome your comments and suggestions

About Me

My photo
My goal is to help my clients navigate the “residential investment property” market; make some money and have some fun in the process. This real estate market is ripe for the investor. In addition, I would like to help the home buyer and home seller. I am part of an 80,000+ agent network that spans all of North America. Being on the “inside” I can find you the “right” agent to handle your specific needs no matter where in North America you may reside. I have been in and arround the real estate market for most of my professional life and want to be your resource for making money in this market. I have been negotiating all of my life and want to negotiate great deals for you. Following is my contact information and my philosophies: Mel Kaye (Broker Associate) Keller Williams Realty Direct: PCH.MEL.KAYE (724.635.5293) Mobile: 805.300.1769 Fax: 888.371.1190 Email: YESmelYES@gmail.com Website: http://melkaye.com Skype: Mel.Kaye Lic #: 00742678 340 N. Westlake Blvd., Suite 100 Westlake Village, CA 91362


My blog is worth $578,088.96.
How much is your blog worth?

This Site is dedicated to the development of your ATTITUDE, which is your ULTIMATE POWER. The content includes: Essays, Articles, Poems, Links, Inspirational stories, Quotes, Research, Music, an original series called the "Process" and Laughter....all focused on the
Pursuit, Capture, Care and Feeding of a Positive Mental Attitude.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Happiness Refined

I believe that this post is one of the most important that I have ever written, so therefore I have brought it up to my front page again. This was done because of a challenge that was put out by Alex Shalman.com called the happiness Project. He asks five questions:

  1. How do you define happiness?
  2. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your happiness now, versus when you were a child?
  3. What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness? (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day)
  4. What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?
  5. What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?
My answers are:
  1. A feeling of well-being and joy.
  2. Now - 9 Child - 3
  3. See below
  4. See below
  5. See below

For those of you have previously read my blog “Attitude, the Ultimate Power,’ aka “Monday Morning Power,” know that I have spent a lot of time discussing happiness and I have some very definite opinions on the subject. I am continuously trying to refine my thoughts and this is my latest attempt. I assure you, it won't be my last.


When discussing “happiness” most people speak of it in the following terms: “Striving to be Happy,” “Searching for Happiness,” I’ll be Happy when…,” and so on. To me, these statements conjure up a journey (a quest) with happiness as the reward for a successful journey’s end; in other words a successful result to the quest. If happiness is one of the rewards for successfully completing the journey then that journey, will more times than not, end in disaster. After all, not every quest is successful; with success being measured by achieving the goals that were set. The journey, or the “striving for,” is far closer related to one of the basic tenant of human nature, which is “not being satisfied,” than it is to “happiness.”

The basic fuel of Human Nature is "not to be satisfied." Human nature is to seek pleasure, to fulfill desires, to accomplish, to better our world, to never quit, to persevere, to constantly strive for "more." whatever the aspects of human nature that we strive for, we will never be satisfied. Insatiability and the resulting drive to be satisfied are at the heart of human nature. You can never have enough intimacy, food, love, accomplishment, money, success, etc. The problem that we run into is that many of us tie happiness to Human Nature”; feeling that we would be happy "if." For such a small word, so much can hang on it. "If" is considered a condition. As an example; polls show that people in general state that they would be happy "if" they had 50% more salary. Then, after that goal was reached and they were polled again, they would be happy with 50% more again. No matter how much we have, we want "more."

On the surface, not being satisfied seems to be selfish; a negative connotation. However, not being satisfied, which fuels the “striving” in human nature is actually a good thing, a very good thing. If it wasn’t for our basic dissatisfaction with what we have, the constant desire to have “more”, where would we be today? Without the desire for “more” there would never have been any inventions, discoveries, cures, art, etc. Again, where we usually go wrong is when we tie this concept of “more” to happiness.

Happiness must never be tied to human nature or else we are destined to be unhappy. We must learn to never qualify happiness. I am an absolute firm believer that happiness is a decision and that we can choose to be happy. I absolutely believe that anyone, anywhere, in any economic condition, in any health condition, with few exceptions, can choose to be happy. Why should the billionaire be any happier than the pauper? In fact, I bet there are, in relative terms, more happy paupers than happy billionaires. Sometimes it just gets down to “I’m happy to be alive.”

Now, to get back to the differences and ties between “happiness” and “human nature;” I have tried to sum this up in an original quote, “Human nature is what drives us; happiness is what sustains us.” Think of two perpendicular lines, one vertical (pointing up) and the other horizontal (pointing sideways.) The one pointing up represents human nature, a constant up-hill battle to achieve. The one pointing sideways represents happiness. We have the ability to maximize happiness no matter where we are on the vertical line, by the simple process of choice. What makes choosing happiness simple are two important concepts; “Gratitude,” and “Living in the Moment.”

By simply being grateful for what we have, no matter how much or how little, the choice to be happy comes so much easier. “Gratitude” is probably an entire article in itself. So for now, let’s just accept gratitude at face value.

The best way to get through life, with the most enjoyment and the least amount of stress, is to live in the moment. In order to effectively live in the moment you must believe in your ability to cope with whatever life throws at you. You must have confidence in yourself, the confidence that you will do the right thing. Knowing that you can effectively deal with any situation that comes your way will better enable you to live in the moment.

As a species, we have an innate ability to over complicate things. Unfortunately, this also applies to the simplicity of choice; now that’s not to say that choice is simple. We all have those inner voices that keep trying to drag us down, to influence us to make the wrong choices. To be able to quiet those destructive inner voices and replace them with constructive, nurturing and positive attitudes, again, is an entire book, which I am posting on my site.

Also, there are those instances where the individual does not have the choice; in the cases of clinical depression and chemical imbalance. These situations are unique and cannot be included in this article. I am not qualified to speak to these clear exceptions.

In order for me to best understand what my real choices are, my constant companion is Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Pledge: “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” If we can apply this in everything we do, the ability to be grateful and to live in the moment becomes easier; thus enabling us to choose happiness.

In addition, I also believe that happiness is a moral obligation. With few exceptions, happy people make this world a better place and unhappy people make it worse. Let me ask you; how do you feel when you are around a happy person? How do you feel when you are around an unhappy person? See what happens around you if you choose to be happy. Even if you fake it, it becomes contagious and before you know it, you are actually feeling happy. Why are you feeling happy? You are happy because you have made the choice to both live in the moment and be grateful.

Let’s see if I can tie all of this together into a clear bullet-point summary/conclusion.

  • Happiness and Human Nature are on different paths.
  • Happiness should never be connected to a result or a condition.
  • Human nature is what drives us; happiness is what sustains us.
  • Happiness is as simple as a choice however, a choice is never simple.
  • The choice of Happiness comes easier when:
    • It is based in “gratitude.”
    • You have the confidence to live in the moment.
  • Happiness is a moral obligation;
    • The more happy people there are in the world, the better the world will be.


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28 comments:

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

If I can remember his words correctly from the PBS program, Charlie Schultz once said, “My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?”

Of course Schultz had a purpose: having his Peanuts characters give smiles and belly laughs to the world.

74WIXYgrad said...

Mel,

I figure that if I can bring a smile to one's face that also makes me happy. That is unless they are smiling about my misfortune.

Thanks for the award you gave me last month. I was on vacation at the time and put some things on the back burner. I finally got around to picking it up last night.

Monday Morning Power said...

Nick,
I am definitely amongst the Schultz lovers. Every thing I read concerning "happiness" strengthens my own beliefs.

Monday Morning Power said...

Wixy,
You are most welcome.

I think you may have given me inspiration for a future post, in regards to how one person can affect another's happiness. I have to work it through, but thanks.

Marja said...

I enjoyed your philosophy and completely agree. The dalai Lama is on the same line with you about happiness. Living in the moment is also an important skill and I especially love you saying Happiness is what sustains us.

Patti said...

I have been trying to live in the moment and I find it's not easy. I agree it's all about the choices we make.

I'm glad I found your blog, Mel. I received your adorable 'Thank You for Being My Friend' Award from Mimi and I just posted it with a link to you.

DiamondsSaphire said...

Loved the post Mel. I am definatly guilty of saying - I'll be happy when..
Maybe if I stop saying "when" and make it "now" I will truely find happiness

Monday Morning Power said...

Marja,
Being in sync with the Dali Lama is indeed hight praise, except I would prefer if you said that I am on the same line with him.

Monday Morning Power said...

ds,
I believe that "if" & "when" are the largest obstacles to happiness that we have.

Monday Morning Power said...

Patti,
I am glad you found me. I trust you will come back.

kasper794 said...

I really loved your post. I need to be reminded of these things on occasions but I try to make others happy if I can.

Monday Morning Power said...

Michelle,
Be careful when "trying to make others happy" that you don't lose yourself in the process. If making significant people in your life happy makes you happy, then great. And, please, realize that in all reality, you can't MAKE others happy. To be happy or not is there choice. Therefore, if they choose not to be happy, it is NOT YOUR FAULT.

Zexk said...

I'm happy when i make others laugh. It's a weird state i have.

But i do query. "The more happy people there are in the world, the better the world will be."

But people have conflicting ideas of happiness. Like terrorists.

Anyway, how is my blog coming along?
http://zexk.blogspot.com

Monday Morning Power said...

Zexk,
I think "happiness" is more of a Western philosophy, and definitely not a Radical Muslim concept. You can't equate them at all.

BTW, I left you a comment on your blog.

Zexk said...

what's a little colour and flair? What do you think i should add?

Sindi said...

Come to my blog and get your The Speader Of Love Award

Monday Morning Power said...

Sindi,

How sweet.....I'll be right over.

coltfan said...

great post !!

coltfan said...

great post !!

Monday Morning Power said...

coltfac,
Thank you.
Thank you.

Sandy Kessler said...

happiness the here and now decision

Monday Morning Power said...

Sandy,
Very well put!

trish said...

I consider myself a positive happy person and tend to seek out the company of others that are also upbeat. I'm a firm believer that negative energy draws negative things to ones life while keeping a positive attitude draws positive energy. Be happy with the good things in your life now and anything extra is a bonus! My opinion anyway.

Monday Morning Power said...

Trish,
I used to think the same way until recently. When I realized that happiness is a choice, I also realized that negative people could only suck the energy from me if I allowed them to do it. There are negative people in my life, like my mother, that I can't just eliminate. I just choose not to let her negativity effect me.

The knowledge that you have CHOICE" is a very powerful weapon.

Mee mOe said...

It is actually easier to be happy then to be sad, the effort of being sad drains you, and yet, there is a part of your brain that continues to remain sad. To climb out of that sadness is difficult, I admire happy people and I have faith that someday I will be happy within....great post !!!

Monday Morning Power said...

Mee Moe,
Some times you just need to let go. It's easier to hold onto something familiar, yes, even sadness than to try and grab something new, happiness.

i beati said...

so right on about happiness. That customs dog funnnny , I'm having trouble with people not being able to comment what is that about??

Monday Morning Power said...

Sandy,
Thanks for the "happiness" support. On the comments, try removing the Word Verification, at least until you get spammed, which I why I re instituted it.