I was out of the country when George Carlin passed so I couldn't post an appropriate tribute until now...........
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life….You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony…..YOU BECOME 21.
YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound
like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
George, YOU WILL BE MISSED!!!!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
George Carlin on age.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Chinese Happiness Dance
During my recent trip to China, at the end of the Yangtze River cruise, the crew of the ship performed for all of the guests. One of their performances was the "Chinese Happiness Dance." I recorded the dance on my camera. I know that this is out of order in regards to the chronology of my trip, But I thought it appropriate to post first because of the subject matter.
All of my China posts will be pictures and videos that I personally took.
I hope that you all enjoy it.
Please see my China Index for more pictures of my China trip
I have many more China posts to come.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The Genie is Back!!!!
* Start Copy Here* 1. Add your site(s) to the list once you have received the Magic Lamp of Luck. 2. Pass on the Magic Lamp of Luck to as many people as you like. After all, everyone needs some good luck! 3. Leave a comment HERE once you’ve passed on the Magic Lamp of Luck. Once the Genie King and Genie Princess have visited your site to make sure your links are complete and proper, you will then be added to the Master List. 4. To ensure everyone receives equal link benefit, please UPDATE your list regularly!
Alakazam!
The mighty Genie King and the beautiful Genie Princess from the magical Land of Faraway are back! Upon escaping the clutches of their Evil Master after being held captive for 1000 years, the magical genies have been busy flying on their Magical Flying Carpet, granting wishes and spreading love throughout the blogosphere.And now, the genies are back with a special gift for everyone! Behold the sacred, Magic Lamp of Luck! With this magic lamp, your blog will enjoy much good luck and fortune, warding off all things evil lurking around in the blogosphere. We would like to share this magic lamp with you so please pass on the Magic Lamp of Luck to those in need of some good luck. Remember, do not be greedy or unkind, evil or vengeful and good luck & fortune will always be with you! Join us on another exciting magical adventure as we spread goodwill and good luck to one and all!
*End Copy Here*
You do not have to be tagged to play along. Just copy the required section and don't forget to go to the mighty Genie King and tell him that you have joined so that you can be added to the master list.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I'M BACK FROM CHINA
WOW, what a trip. Now I have to get my bearings and make sure that the Big Bang is up to date. I have LOTS of pictures and movies to share with everyone. Just be patient with me. I haven't even taken my memory card out of my camera yet.
I missed you all.
Viking River Cruises
I can personally testify that Viking River Cruises is the only way to travel. It is akin to a moving "All Inclusive"; plane fare, hotels, all meals and all excursions are included in one convenient package. I just (7/10/08) returned from their 12 day "Imperial Jewels of China" trip. I can absolutely say that this was the best trip I have ever taken.
If you would like to get more information please call 1-800-304-9619 and say that Mel Kaye referred you. In addition to the great values and discounts you will receive a $50 shipboard credit by using my name.
For additional details, before you call, go to their web site.
China
From June 29, 2008 through July 10, 2008 I took an amazing trip to China. Following are my posts that either talk to and/or have pictures and videos of this trip.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
VACATION TIME
I will not be posting for the next two weeks. I am actually taking a vacation without my computer. My wife and I will be spending 2 weeks in China. I hope to take some pictures that I will post when I return.
New Big Bang Participants - Please add your sites to the list that you copy over and leave me a comment HERE with the link to your post. I will add your site to the master list as soon as I return from China.
I'll miss everyone.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Are You Prepared For Success? (Section III - Installment #14 "The Secret of Happiness” – Male & Female versions)
(If this is your first time on this site, you may want to begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])
If you are a regular reader of my Empowerment Process please read the Section II version of this poem first; then read this version.
The Secret Of Happiness
If happiness is what I am looking for
There are no great mysteries for me to explore,
No oceans to swim or mountains to climb.
No searching until the ends of time.
Happiness is not found in what I possess
Nor does it lie on the road to success.
Having someone to love is great, that's for sure.
But it takes more than love for happiness to endure.
To have achieved my goals is a wonderful feeling
But that in itself is not that appealing.
The victory is mine, the race is won,
But without knowing happiness, I've only begun.
Happiness will be mine, because I now see
Just how easy attaining it really can be.
Whether I'm poor or whether I'm rich,
Young or old, it doesn't matter which.
Plain or pretty, skinny or fat,
Kind of heart or a low-down rat,
Healthy or sick, educated or not
I will just be grateful for what I've got.
The more gratitude that I express
The more I'll enjoy each and every success.
All I need is to have the right attitude.
For happiness is the attitude of gratitude.
(An Original Poem by Mel Kaye)
I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.
• How will you express gratitude for what you have?
Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Nostalgia
A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels: 
There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.The clothes are fantastic.
Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:
Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:
This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.
Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:
This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:
If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:
He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:
If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day
Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.
As does your search for chest hair.And this -- Seriously. No words.
Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. F*ck. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?
I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."
And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blond girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric." 
Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:
I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:
Man, that's sexy.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Are You Prepared For Success? (Section III - Installment #13 "Persistence” – Male & Female versions)
(If this is your first time on this site, you may want to begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])
If you are a regular reader of my Empowerment Process please read the Section II version of this poem first; then read this version.
Persistence
There is nothing to take its place.
Not even with talent, can I make a case.
In this world, it's a common sight,
To have all the talent without the fight.
The brains of a genius, is not what it takes;
It would be nice, little chance for mistakes.
But as I look about, I continue to see
"Un-rewarded genius", a proverb be.
Education will take me only part of the way.
It is important, I will start today.
I am forewarned, as I see all around,
Educated derelicts, a penny a pound.
The most important ingredient in winning, I see,
Is that of persistence, that is the key.
I will never give up, because I wish to rise.
Persistence, more than anything, will win me the prize.
(An Original Poem by Mel Kaye)
I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.
- What current goals will you achieve by being persistent?
Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Fly Hunter
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. 'What are you doing?' She asked.
‘Hunting Flies' He responded.
'Oh! Killing any?' She asked.
'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?'
He responded,
3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.'
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Some Place Expensive
When I got home last night,
my wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive.............
Wait for it......
Wait for it......
So I took her to a gas station.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Dona Nobis Pacem
I was challenged by Sandee of Comedy Plus to participate in the Peace Globe movement. I had already flown my globe but did not complete the "meme" aspect of it. So now it is complete, meme and all.
Mimi, the QUEEN of meme's, the creator of The Peace Globes, the author of BlogBlast for Peace has come up with a brilliant idea. She is treating her Peace Globes as a meme to spread this wonderful event. I'm going to jump on board and I challenge you to copy and paste this meme on your site and tag absolutely everyone in the blogosphere. Here's what Mimi has to say:
Peace Globes did not begin as a meme. But it began to behave like a meme. Blog to blog to blog. Like a fog. We didn't use the word "tag" ....but that's what we did when we invited others in our blogrolls to participate. The fact that you did so without the obligatory tag is proof that the concept is powerful.
It's a fact that the fastest and most effective way to spiral an idea out of control in the blogosphere is via a meme. I should know! The 700+ bloggers who participated in past launches (and that truly is the tip of The-Iceberg-I-Never-Found) knows what it means to them. It's about unity. We have that in spades. It's about activism, awareness, crossing political lines, making a statement and sharing ideas. We've done that. We have the vision as a core group of bloggers for peace; but we do not - yet - have the power in numbers behind the message.
BlogBlast For Peace Meme ~ Join The Revolution
Here are the rules and the story. Copy this into a post and tag as many people as you'd like.
The Peace Globe project began in the fall of 2006 with a simple post from one blog, Mimi Writes. The post ignited a flame in the blogosphere. The flame became a passion. The passion became a movement. It amazingly traveled from blog to blog to blog across the globe. Bloggers wrote passionate articles on what peace means to them, along with the promise of three Latin words scribbled on a globe - Dona Nobis Pacem (Grant Us Peace) - branded with the integrity of their names or blog names. It was positively inspiring to watch. And it began to happen all over the world - from Singapore to China to Afghanistan to Brooklyn.How To Get Your Peace Globe In 4 easy steps!It was simple. And powerful.
In less than two weeks bloggers from all
across the globe will blog for peace.
We will speak with one voice. One subject. One day.
Won't you join us?
June 4, 2008
- Choose one of the four Peace Globe designs in this post. Right CLICK and SAVE in JPG format.
- Sign the globe using Paint, Photoshop or a similar graphics tool. Decorate the globe anyway you wish. You can even include the name of your blog. Click here for hundreds of inspiring examples from previous BlogBlasts.
- Return the peace globe to me via email ~ mimiwrites2005 at yahoo.com - Let me know your blog's name and url by leaving a comment here and signing the Mr. Linky. Your submission will be numbered and dated in the official gallery . Your globe and post will be listed on the Official BlogBlast For Peace website and The Peace Globe Posts page.
- Here's the most important part -- On June 4, 2008 DISPLAY YOUR GLOBE IN A POST. Title your post "Dona Nobis Pacem". This is important. The goal is for all blog post titles to say the same thing on the same day. Write about peace that day or simply fly your globe.
Click here for examples of peace globe posts from previous BlogBlasts.
Please consider passing this meme through the blogosphere.
This is Mimi Pencil Skirt reporting from
the lovely land of the Peace Globes.
Memeing the Movement.
**End Copy**
