You Might Be A Redneck If......(101 - 125 of 299)

	First 25
101	Your family tree doesn't have any branches.
102	Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
103	Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
104	You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
105	The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
106	The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
107	Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
108	You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
109	Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
110	The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
111	You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
112	You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
113	You use the term `over yonder' more than once a month.
114	The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".
115	Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
116	You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
117	Your favorite Christmas present, was a painting on black velvet.
118	You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
119	The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"
120	You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
121	You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
122	The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!" "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin?"
123	You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
124	Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
125	You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
	Next 25 Thank you Jeff Foxworth

Are You Prepared For Success? (Installment #4)

(If this is your first time on this site, please begin with "Are You Prepared For Success [Introduction])

To attain true success it's extremely important to deal directly with the origins of your current attitudes. This makes it close to impossible to believe in ourselves and our capabilities. The success formulas that most success-oriented books profess can work; it's right there, in front of us, in black and white. We know, on some conscious or subconscious level, that the answer is there, but we can't seem to put our hands on it, hold it and apply it in our own lives. Why does success seem so illusive?

Most success-based books tell you what can be accomplished and how to accomplish it. Some tell you that by following their "get rich quick" method you can obtain wealth. This may be through real estate, mail order, auctions, etc. There are thousands of ways to make an abundance of money (if that is your definition of success). Do you know that a large proportion of the legitimate ones work, if you have the right attitude? Most of the better success based books do stress the importance of winning attitudes as an important factor leading to success, however, we need to be prepared. Without preparation, the right attitude, these success formulas will never even be attempted. We end up sabotaging ourselves with "I can't".

It's all about attitude.

Two men look out through the same bars:

One sees the mud, and one the stars.

-Frederick Langbridge

Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.

-Jerome K. Jerome

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

-Francis Bacon

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.

-Henry J. Kaiser

The reason that there are so many of these "Get Rich Quick," and "How to Succeed" books on the market is that we continue to buy them, making the authors rich, while we are looking for that fool-proof, no risk, easy answer to a lifetime of riches. We continue to look for the "Secret," or that one formula that will work all by itself; a formula that not even we (with our loser attitudes) can mess up. In other words, a get-rich-quick program that will make us rich.....in spite of ourselves.....when it should be a program that will make us rich because of ourselves. We need to start off as winners, knowing that we will succeed...HAVING THE RIGHT ATTITUDES.

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

-Japanese proverb

Please remember…that there are no sure things; nothing is fool-proof. Even the most tried and true method for obtaining wealth, will go array without that all important winning attitude; that belief in yourself...the belief that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. You can't allow any negative thoughts into your head. Doubt will sabotage any endeavor, even the ones that "can't fail."

Our doubts are traitors

And make us lose the good we oft might win

By fearing to attempt.

-Shakespeare

There are ways of dealing with the issues of success and attitude head on. Preparing for success really is quite simple.

Expert: Someone who brings confusion to simplicity.

-John Kendrick Bangs

I am not a so called expert. I created a process that works and know why it works. This process is basic; it is simple; it makes sense; it's fun; it is based on common sense and most importantly, it does works. (I am not leading up to purchase of anything. The process will be revealed in future posts.)

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it.

-Robert Heinlein

Before we get into the basic principles of the process itself, I must offer a simple definition; I use the words "success & succeed" many times. The definition used by this process is, "The road to, as well as the attainment of, your innermost desires (within the bounds of physics, decency, morality and the law.)"

There is only one success--to be able to spend your life in your own way.

-Christopher Morely

By Mel Kaye

Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

Go to Installment #5

You Might Be a Redneck if….(76-100 of 299)

	First 25
76	Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card.
77	you bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while you’re at work.
78	your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
79	you view the next family reunion as a chance to meet girls.
80	your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
81	your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
82	the main course at potluck dinners is road kill.
83	you mow the front yard and find a car.
84	your other truck is made by John Deere.
85	you think suspenders are a type of shirt.
86	going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.
87	you keep a spit cup on the ironing board.
88	you ever got too drunk to fish.
89	More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.
90	Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
91	You've ever used lard in bed.
92	Your home has more miles on it than your car.
93	You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve.
94	There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
95	You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
96	Fewer than half of your cars run.
97	Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
98	The primary color of your car is "bondo".
99	You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
100	You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Bobby-Sue Ellen to walk by.
	Thank you Jeff Foxworth Next 25

Motivational Quotes (1)

In keeping in line with the Pursuit, Capture and then the Care and Feeding of a Positive Mental Attitude; is the repetition of meaningful and positive statements. Motivational quotes, for many, fill that bill. Following is the first in a series of motivational quotes. Take the ones that feel right and repeat them to yourselves regularly and with passion.

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "Press On" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
-Calvin Coolidge

Success favors the prepared mind
-Louis Pasteur

In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
-Theodore Roosevelt

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
-Albert Einstein

Most of us are about as happy as we make our minds up to be.
-Abraham Lincoln

Some men give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal,
while others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting at the last moment more vigorous efforts than before.
-Polybius

As you ramble through life, brother, no matter what your goal, keep your eye upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole
-Dr. Murray Banks, quoting a menu

Whether you think you can or
Whether you think you can't.....
You are right.

-Henry Ford

The mark of a true professional is giving more than you get.
-Robert Kirby

Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
-Demosthenes

Luck is the residue of design.
-Branch Rickey, general manager
of the Brooklyn Dodgers

Patting yourself on the back
doesn't push you ahead.
-Car Wash Philosophy

We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then,
is not an act, but a habit.
-Aristotle

Do not let what you cannot do
interfere with what you can do.
-John Wooden

Pessimism never won any battle.
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Discipline is remembering what you want.
-David Campbell

Towering genius disdains a beaten path.
-Abraham Lincoln

You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence,
we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices.
-Deepak Chopra

See Motivational Quote Index for more quotes.

Are You Prepared For Success? (Installment #3)

If this is your first time on this site, please go to "Are You Prepared For Success?" (Introduction)

It's close to impossible to suddenly say "I can," and truly believe it, after years of saying "I can't!" To change an "I can't" attitude (mind-set) into an "I can" attitude is not a simple process of thought, like simply changing your mind. It is much, much more difficult than that. A mind-set can be hard to change.

Touch a thistle timidly, and it pricks you; grasp it boldly, and its spines crumble.

- William S. Halsey

The roots of old attitudes run deep.

The "I can't" or "I can, if" attitudes become more apparent when we face situations that involve risk; situations where the outcome is uncertain. Typical uncertain outcomes are success vs. failure, reward vs. loss, acceptance vs. rejections. The "I Can't" attitude is a fear of the risk of uncertainty; of not having the confidence to handle what ever may happen. The "if" in "I can, if" is if everything goes my way; if I pick the right lottery numbers; if my horse comes in; if the sun comes out...if, if, if. The definition of "if" is...on the condition that...therefore, "if" is based on a scenario that is dependent on conditions outside of our control. "If" is really the same as "I can't" with some rationalizations (excuses) so that we can avoid confronting the risk of uncertainty.

If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right.

-Mary Kay Ash

Two of but's dreariest friends, if only and try.

-Sally Kempton

Another learned attitude that many of us posses is that of the "victim". This also is a limiting and negative mind-set. In today's society, it seems that it is in vogue to blame somebody else for one's own situation. "Victimization" seems to be the word of the day. If we blame somebody else, it's no longer our fault...after all, we are the victims here, and we hve no responsibility for the way things may turn out.

Playing the victim is another way to avoid confronting the fear of risk. As victims, we feel that we have no control over our lives. Therefore, the predicament that we find our self in is someone else's fault, not ours. As a victim we feel powerless. This is another example of a self-limiting, negative attitude.

If you are a person who suffers from the "I can't" syndrome, the "victimization" syndrome or any other self-limiting attitudes...take heart…there is a reason why and there is a way out. Most of us, unfortunately, learn early in life that artificial limits have been placed on us by well-meaning, but limiting people. (This will be discussed in more detail a little later in the program.) We are usually well aware of these limits, and take these limits as our true limitations. However, we are usually unaware of their true origin and, likewise, unaware that these limits are actually false limits.

No one knows what he can do until he tries

-Pubilius Syrus, 1st century B.C..

Have you ever heard a parent talking to a child and saying something like: "You can't do anything right!" Now think of this statement being repeated to this child by his parent(s) thousands of times throughout his childhood. When this child grows into an adult, do you think there is a pretty good chance that this person has a message that plays and replays in his/her head something like, "I can't do anything right!"? Do you think that this is a real limit (a true, proven, limitation) or a false limit (a limitation that has never been actually tested)? Does this strike a cord in your own life?

"If..."

If a child lives with criticism,

He learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,

He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame,

He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,

He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,

He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,

He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness,

He learns justice.

If a child lives with security,

He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,

He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,

He learns to find love in the world.

-Dorothy Law Nolte

By Mel Kaye
Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

Go to Installment #4

You Might Be a Redneck if….(51-75 of 299)

51	First 25 You take a fishing poll into Sea World.
52	You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
53	You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
54	You think the French Riviera is foreign car.
55	You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
56	You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
57	you have ever used lard in bed.
58	you own more than 3 shirts with cut off sleeves.
59	you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.
60	your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
61	someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
62	The primary color of your car is bondo.
63	directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road."
64	your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
65	you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
66	you ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
67	Jack Daniels puts you on their list of most admired people.
68	your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
69	you see no need to stop at a rest stop 'cause you have an empty milk jug
70	you consider the fifth grade your senior year.
71	you have a rag for a gas cap.
72	the dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
73	you have a hefty bag where the window of your car should be.
74	you have ever bar-b-qued Spam on the grill.
75	your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
	Thank you Jeff Foxworthy Next 25

You Might Be A Redneck If..... (26-50 of 299)

26	Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
27	Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
28	You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
29	There are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.
30	The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
31	There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.
32	You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
33	The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
34	You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
35	You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
36	You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
37	You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.
38	You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
39	You’re considered an expert on worm beds.
40	Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
41	The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
42	You've ever bought a used cap.
43	Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
44	You pick your teeth from a catalog.
45	You've ever financed a tattoo.
46	You've ever stolen toilet paper.
47	You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
48	People hear your car a long time before they see it.
49	The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
50	You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
	Next 25 Thank you Jeff Foxworth

You Might Be A Redneck If..... (1-25 of 299)

1. You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

2. You ever cut your grass and found a car.

3. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.

4. You think the stock market has a fence around it.

5. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.

6. Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.

7. You own a homemade fur coat.

8. Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.

9. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

10. Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath"

11. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.

12. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

13. You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

14. Birds are attracted to your beard.

15. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.

16. You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.

17. You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

18. You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.

19. Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".

20. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

21. You've ever given rat traps as gifts.

22. You clean your fingernails with a stick.

23. Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

24. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.

25. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Next 25

Thank you Jeff Foxworthy

Are You Prepared For Success? (Installment #2)

The vast majority of us are not equipped (prepared) to pursue the same type of success that we read about. Therefore, not being truly prepared, our endeavors towards success would result in failure, if the pursuit of success was even attempted. The inability to succeed has been scripted for so many of us to such a degree that we won't even try. So, more than likely, failure, or feeling like a failure would be the natural outcome. This default resignation to failure could easily lead to depression. Also, believing that deep within that we are not worthy of success (to be discussed later), therefore we make no attempt at success. This could result in a prolonged depression.

The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Action defeats depression

We all, pretty much, have the same wants and desires as the successful person. However, most of us have a great deal of difficulty making that jump from wanting success to having success. For most of us, there seems to be something missing.... an element that is essential for the attainment of success.

This missing element (essential factor), as most of these books either state or infer, is a winning attitude. That winning attitude is that we first, "truly believe" that we "can," then we "do;" a winning attitude combination for sure. This may seem over-simplistic, however, it is the essence of what makes a person successful.

Men who say it cannot be done, should not interrupt those doing it.

-Chinese proverb

Do or do not. There is no try.

-Yoda

Can do..

-U.S. Navy Seabees

They can because they think they can.

-Virgil

The saddest aspect is that most of us never figure this out, and if we do, we don't know how to truly attain this attitude. We continue for the rest of our lives only existing. We dream and think about how it could be, not realizing that this is how it can be; we just dream our dreams without knowing that we can live our dreams.

Most people live their lives in quiet desperation

- H. Ross Perot

For of all sad words of tongue or pen,

The saddest are these: 'It might have been!

-John Greenleaf Whittier

I believe that there is a process that anyone can use; a process that will enable you to get from where you are now to where you need to be; a process that can prepare you (transition you) to succeed; a process that:

• will enable "non-believers" to cross over to the side of "true believers";
• will enable you to believe in yourself;
• will turn a loser into a winner;
• will turn failure into success;
• will turn your life around;
• will enable you, if you have the desire, to truly succeed;
• will enable you to make the successful connection between your emotions and your thoughts;
• will enable you to be bold, where you were once timid;
• will enable you to change your attitudes from negative to positive;
• will enable you to see and then seize opportunities.
• will enable you to get out of your own way

The enormous multiplication of books in every branch of knowledge is one of the greatest evils of this age...it presents one of the most serious obstacles to the acquisition of correct information, by throwing in the reader's way piles of lumber in which he must painfully grope for...scraps of useful matter...

-Edgar Allen Poe

There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity

- General Douglas MacArthur

By Mel Kaye
Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

Go to Installment #3

Are You Prepared For Success? (Insallment #1)

If this is your first time on this site, please go to "Are You Prepared For Success? (Introduction)

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve.”

-Napoleon Hill

“Just Do It.”

-Nike

“Never give in, Never, Never, Never, Never.”

-Sir Winston Churchill

Above are some of the more famous success based quotes prevalent in society today. They represent a few of the basic attitudes (winning attitudes) that need to become part of us (second nature) in order for true success to be attained. Most people, deep down, know this to be true. Winning, positive attitudes go hand-in-hand with success. However, - just knowing that positive attitudes are essential to success - will not guarantee success. Knowing, understanding and owning winning, positive attitudes (making them ours - as if we actually gave birth to them) is what's essential to attaining lasting success.

Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success.

-Dr. Rob Gilbert

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.

-William James

We are constantly being exposed to quotes, clichés and sayings that reflect differing attitudes, some of them winning attitudes. Unfortunately we are also exposed to quotes with no value, or worse with negative value, that reflect losing attitudes. There are no "cliché monitors" in life. This is a function that we all have to develop internally.

"Opportunity only knocks once." This is a prime example of a totally and absolutely false message that is contained within a cliché that a lot of us take as truth. The implication of this statement is if we don't recognize an opportunity when it appears, we will never have another chance at opportunity. This is a loser's attitude. If we have winning attitudes, positive attitudes, we will make our own opportunities. We will be able to create opportunities out of most all situations, including miss-fortune. Opportunities can be disguised as obstacles, problems or just every day routines that we never really looked too closely at before. With the right frame of mind (attitude), opportunities will reveal themselves to us, no matter how they may be disguised.

Opportunity.....Often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.

-Napoleon Hill

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

-Albert Einstein

How, then, are we to separate the winning attitudes from the losing attitudes? When we are able to separate them, how do we understand, take ownership of, and implement the positive winning attitudes that are reflected by these positive quotes?

It is better to never have tried anything than to have tried something and failed.

-motto of jerks, weenies and losers everywhere

Also, why is it that only a small percentage of people actually achieve success when we are constantly exposed to these positive, motivating and inspirational messages carried within these quotes?

There have been thousands of How To Succeed Books and biographies of successful people written over the years. We can find these books everywhere...in all the libraries, book stores and on the Internet. They all have their own formulas for attaining ultimate success, financial independence, becoming our own boss and living our dreams! These books are very stimulating and easily fuel our fires of desire. For most of us, these books paint a picture of the other side; of what others have attained, of what we don't have, of what we want but feel that we can never have. Why do we feel that we can never attain success, that it is out of our reach?

By Mel Kaye

Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

Go to Installment #2