Two Wolves.

There is a story that I heard today, that I just had to re-tell.  I hope I get it right.

There was this little boy who was acting out, being destructive and just being naughty.  He was in a room with his Granfather.  The Grandfather took his Grandson aside and told him that he understood what the boy was doing and that he had done the very same thing when he was young.

So the little boy asked what he meant.

The Grandfather said that he had two wolves in his head.  One was a good and kind wolf who was considerate of other people, honest and always tried to do the right thing.  The other was a bad wolf who was, destructive, mean, dishonest and always got in trouble.  He then told his Grandson that they were always fighting to see who would win.

The little boy, fascinated, said "which wolf won?"

The Grandfather said the the wolf that won was the wolf that I fed.

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

 Men Are Just Happier People--

 Our last name stays put.

 The garage is all ours.

 Wedding plans take care of themselves.

 Chocolate is just another snack.  

 We can never be pregnant.

 Car mechanics tell us the truth.

 The world is our urinal.

 We never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

 We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

 Same work, more pay.

 Wrinkles add character.

 People never stare at our chest when We're talking to them.

 New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.

 One mood all the time.

 Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

 We know stuff about tanks and engines.

 A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

 We can open all our own jars.

 We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

 Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

 Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

 We never have strap problems in public.

 We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

 Everything on our face stays its original color.

 The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

 We only have to shave our face.

 We can play with toys all our life.

 One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

 We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.

 We can "do" our nails with a pocket knife.

 We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

 We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

 No wonder men are happier.

All Dogs Go To Heaven

I received this in my email and just had to share it. Enjoy

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

How smart is Your Right Foot?

Just try this.  It is from an  orthopedic surgeon............  

This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't.  It's pre-programmed in your brain!

1.  While sitting where you are at  your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and  make clockwise circles.

2.  Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right Hand.  Your foot will change direction.

I told you so !!!  And there's nothing you can do about it !!!!

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are  going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

"I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE"

   "I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE"

 

 

 

  HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

 

1. Press 1 for English' is immediately banned.  English is the official language; speak it or wait at the   border until you can.
   
2. We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports.  We will use the 'Wal-Mart's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
3. When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
4. All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern   border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
5. Social security will immediately return to its original state.  If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
6. Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful   completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
7. Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
8. Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more life sentences.  If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
9. One export will be allowed; Wheat... The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
10. All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off  the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When  disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether  it's a worthy cause.
11. The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
12. The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get.  Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.

 

 

  God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

   Bill Cosby