Cats, Part 3

This is part three of a three part post.






Click here if you would like to see Part one.
Click here if you would like to see Part two.



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Cats, Part 2

This is part two of a three part post.





Click here if you would like to see Part one.

Stay tuned for Part three.



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Cats, part 1

This is part one of a three part post.










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Mental Hospital Phone Menu......

Hello! Thank you for calling "The State Mental Hospital". Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up... our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.


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New Edition of Redneck Jokes

FINALLY! OVERALLS THAT FIT!
Just ask for the " ARKANSAS CUT "

Yes, the new one is out!
Brand new edition of...
"You know you're a redneck when......

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean ?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal*Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

Quick Announcement

I will be out of town on business travel for a couple of days so I may not be posting again until Wednesday, 2/27/08.

All new Big Bang participants, I will add your sites on Wednesday.

Thanks for your patience and understanding.

Mel

Office Bulletins

Knowing Me, Knowing You

I was tagged to do this meme by Sindi of Life is a Roller Coaster


KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU


Copy this entire list of questions and change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then tag and pass it along to other blogging friends. Let’s see how well we can get to know one another!


1. What is your occupation?
I am a Vice President of National Accounts for a major Real Estate Services company

2. What color are your socks right now?
White

3. What are you listening to right now?
Three barking of my dogs

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Home made apple crisp

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Blue

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
A client

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Of course

9. Favorite drink?
Cappuccino

10. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Basketball

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes, when I had hair

12. Pets?
Three Dachshunds, Dexter, Oliver and Lucy

13. Favorite food?
Lobster Thermadore

14. Last movie you watched?
Bourne Ultimatum

15. Favorite Day of the year?
Every day

16. What do you do to vent anger?
Simmer

17. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Microscope and Chemistry set.

18. What is your favorite, fall or spring?
Spring, because everything is starting to bloom.

19. Hugs or kisses?
Hugs

20. What kind of pie?
French Apple

21. Do you want your friends to email you back?
Yes

22. Who is most likely to respond?
All of them

23. Who is least likely to respond?
I wouldn't email anyone who I know would not respond.

24. Living arrangements?
Me, my wife and three dogs in a house that is mortgaged to the hilt.

25. When was the last time you cried?
I honestly do not remember

26. What is on the floor of your closet?
Shoes

27. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
I am not sending this to anyone. I will let anyone who wants to participate, participate.

28. The friend you have known the shortest amount of time that you are sending this to?
See # 27

29. Favorite smell?
Fresh bread

30. What inspires you?
I inspire me.

31. What are you afraid of?
Nothing in this world

32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
spicy hamburgers

33. Favorite car?
Porshe carrera

34. Favorite cat breed?
Siamese

35. Number of keys on your key ring?
10

36. How many years at your current job?
5

37. Favorite day of the week?
Monday (for obvious reasons)

38. How many cities have you lived in?
About 8

39. How many countries have you been to?
About 25.


Tags - Anyone who wants to take this on.

When It's Okay to say F%#K

I got these great shots from my friend Michelle at Rusin Roundup

World Clock

This is a must. World Clock - have fun.......

According to their life expectancy calculator, the following holds true for me:
Biological Age - 59
Virtual Age - 47.3
Average Life Expectancy - 78
My Life Expectancy - 89.7

Please share yours.....

Are You Prepared For Success? (Section III - Installment #8 "It’s Never Too Late” – Male & Female versions)

(If this is your first time on this site, you may want to begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

If you are a regular reader of my Empowerment Process please read the Section II version of this poem first; then read this version.

It's Never Too Late!

I'm no longer young, but not past my prime.
The realization sets in. I won't run out of time.
I know what's needed, the changes I must make,
The direction I must go, there's so much at stake.

I'm no longer comfortable, nor content with me.
My "failings" are not friends, they're the enemy.
I know it's not easy; there's some effort required,
To make the needed changes no matter if I'm tired.

I will try, I will do, try and I will not fail.
Over and over it’s not the same old tale.
I've found the reason to make the change,
A life altering reason, for my world to rearrange.

I'll no longer rationalize my fears. I will make the move.
I won't stay where I am, in this same old groove.
I will dare to take a chance on what might be.
I have what it takes to really be free.

My life will be different, no longer the same.
I'll look ahead with hope, not back in shame.
My past wasn't a failure, a sham or a fake,
I won't look at my life as one big mistake.

My past has a purpose, a reason for being.
It's what has prepared me for this time of seeing.
My past was the groundwork for this step to take.
My future is waiting. It's my decision to make.

There's was no magic answer for me to discover,
No hidden secrets for me to uncover.
I won't look for guidance, for the answer's in me.
I know what to do for I am the key.

(An Original Poem by Mel Kaye)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• List the changes you will make so that you move towards the future you most desire.
• How will these changes affect your future?

Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

Go to Section #III, Installment #9

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More Reasons to Smile

Many smiles begin because of another smile....

Always have good self esteem....

Take care of your friends, especially those dearest to you...

Take care of your body...

But most of all, find time to relax...

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