Pictures to Make You Smile

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Are you Martha or Maxine?

*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

*Maxine's Way*
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake!
You are probably lying on the couch with your fee t up eating it, anyway!


*Martha's Way*
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

*Maxine's Way*
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix , keep it in the pantry for up to a year.


*Martha's Way*
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

*Maxine's Way*
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.


*Martha's Way*
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

*Maxine's Way*
If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"


*Martha's Way*
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

*Maxine's Way*
Celery? Never heard of it!


*Martha's Way*
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

*Maxine's Way*
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.


*Martha's Way*
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

*Maxine's Way*
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!


*Martha's Way*
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

*Maxine's Way*
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.


*Martha's Way*
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

*Maxine's Way*
Leftover wine???????????
HELLO !!!!!!!


Martha Maxine

Why Women Don't Like To Take Men On Vacation

Ladies...........This is for you!

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.

Amen!

Gentlemen, let's accept our all too frequent childish behavior and try not to piss off the ladies in our lives too much!

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Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #28 "Crossroads” – Male & Female versions)

(If this is your first time on this site, you may want to begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

Crossroads

Two crossroads lay ahead and you must choose
Which one of these roads to take.
These roads, they weave and turn and whose
To say which one is best, for they bare few clues;
As you hope upon hope not to make a mistake.

You can only imagine where these roads lead;
As they both end far beyond your view.
Each road would fulfill a different need:
Of comfort and risk; both opposites, indeed.
The comfortable one seems old and the riskier one seems new.

Each road beckons you differently, it seems.
The comfortable one is closer with a familiar view;
The riskier, more distant, like the road in your dreams;
The road of passions and hopes and schemes.
The closer one looks traveled by many, the more distant by few.

Down the familiar you would follow, down the other you would lead.
With you're confidence high, you're prepared to win,
And believing that you will always succeed,
And trusting yourself, are all that you need.
So, you choose the road where few have been.

You shall gladly tell generations, of a future day,
With a grateful sigh and a knowing nod, this story;
Of when two roads beckoned you in a different way,
And you took the one of dreams and schemes, only to say
That you soared and swooped and found your glory.

(An Original Poem by Mel Kaye)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• What are your crossroads (be specific)?
• Which road would you like to travel, and why?

Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved

Male Reader - Please go to #29m
Female Reader - Please go to #29f

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Now, That's a Roller Coaster

New Ohio Roller Coaster At Cedar Point!!

Last picture says it all...

Yep, enough said!

I wonder what the back looks like????

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roller coaster Cedar Point Ohio

Living In The Moment

The best way to get through life, with the most enjoyment and the least amount of stress, is to live in the moment. In order to effectively live in the moment you must believe in your ability to cope with whatever life throws at you. You must have confidence in yourself, the confidence that you will do the right thing. Knowing that you can effectively deal with any situation that comes your way will better enable you to live in the moment.

Remember that life is only 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react. By living in the moment you have a far greater ability to be happy. If you are living in the past or worrying about the future you are probably filled with negativity. You are most likely listening to a destructive inner voice that is robbing you of the “moment." It’s critical that you learn to turn the negative self talk into positive self talk. Only by being positive can you truly live in the moment.

Another destructive behavior that postpones the “moment” is to live for “more.” Always wanting “more” and focusing on “more” is contradictory to living in the moment. Postponing happiness until you have “more” pretty much insures an unhappy life. The “more” focuses all of your energy on the future making it virtually impossible to live in the moment.

Living in the moment allows you to focus on the people and things that are important to you right now. This also enables you to feel and show gratitude, which is an absolute prerequisite for happiness. Believe it or not gratitude is a key to abundance.

Happiness really is simple and what’s more it is a choice. It all circles back to having the right attitude. With the right attitude, a positive attitude, you are better able to live in the moment and better able to experience happiness.

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Signs of the Times

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Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #27f "The Touch of the Master’s Hand” – Female version)

(If this is your first time on this site, I recommend that you begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

If you are a male reader please go to #27m

The Touch of the Master's Hand

"Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth her while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile.
"What am I bidden, good folks," she cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?"
"A dollar, a dollar," then, two! Only two?
"Two dollars, and who'll make it three?
"Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three. . ." But no,
From the room, far back, a gray haired woman
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
She played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said: "What am I bid for the old violin?"
And she held it up with the bow.
"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?
Two thousand! And who'll make it three?
Three thousand, once; three thousand, twice;
And going and gone," said she.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,
"We do not quite understand
What changed its worth?" Swift came the reply:
"The touch of a master's hand."

And many a woman with life out of tune,
And battered and scared with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A "mess of pottage," a flask of wine;
A game -- and she travels on.
She's "going" once, and "going" twice,
She's "going" and almost "gone."
But the master comes and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the changes that's wrought
By the touch of the master's hand.

(Based on a poem by Myra B. Welch)

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• Who do you know that could greatly benefit from the "the touch of a master's hand," and why? (Could it be you, or could you be the master?)

Go to Section II (Installment #28)

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Are You Prepared For Success? (Section II - Installment #27m "The Touch of the Master’s Hand” – Male version)

(If this is your first time on this site, I recommend that you begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])

If you are a female reader please go to #27f

The Touch of the Master's Hand

"Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile.
"What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?"
"A dollar, a dollar," then, two! Only two?
"Two dollars, and who'll make it three?
"Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three. . ." But no,
From the room, far back, a gray haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said: "What am I bid for the old violin?"
And he held it up with the bow.
"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?
Two thousand! And who'll make it three?
Three thousand, once; three thousand, twice;
And going and gone," said he.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,
"We do not quite understand
What changed its worth?" Swift came the reply:
"The touch of a master's hand."

And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scared with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A "mess of pottage," a flask of wine;
A game -- and he travels on.
He's "going" once, and "going" twice,
He's "going" and almost "gone."
But the master comes and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the changes that's wrought
By the touch of the master's hand.

Myra B. Welch

I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.

• Who do you know that could greatly benefit from the "the touch of a master's hand," and why? (Could it be you, or could you be the master?)

Go to Section II (Installment #28)

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Living Will

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." .....

She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.




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FINALLY, ERROR MESSAGES WE CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND

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Error Messages