What are you to do if you have a heart attack while you are alone? (This is not a joke. This is DEADLY serious.....it could save your life.)
The Johnson City Medical Center staff actually discovered this and did an in-depth study on it in their ICU. The two individuals that discovered this then wrote an article on it, and had it published and have even had it incorporated into ACLS and CPR classes.
It is very true and has and does work. It is called cough CPR. A cardiologist says it's the truth
Read this...It could save your life!
Let's say it's 6:15 p.m. and you're driving home (alone of course), after an usually hard day on the job You're really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far.
What can you do? You've been trained in CPR but the guy that taught the course, didn't tell you what to do if it happened to you.
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, this article seemed to be in order. Without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feels faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart
attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many other people as possible about this, it could save their lives!
From Health Cares, Rochester General Hospital via Chapter 240s newsletter
'AND THE BEAT GOES ON '
Technorati Tags:
self+CPR Heart+attack
Monday, February 11, 2008
Self CPR
Sunday, February 10, 2008
"Big Bang" Challenge
As of today the Big Bang has over 460 sites listed. I truly believe that we can achieve 1,000 sites, but not without your help. If every participant was able to bring in just one more site, that with the normal growth of the list, I believe we can do it.
Remember, just one additional site per participant and 1,000: HERE WE COME!!!!
1-Attitude, the Ultimate Power 2-Juliana's Site 3-Rusin Roundup 4-Grow Rich Along With Me 5-Comedy Plus 6-lynda's loft 7-Amel's Realm 8-MAX 9-Speedcat Hollydale 10-Mariuca 11-Complain Complain Complain 12-Mariuca's Perfume Gallery 13-Life Is A Roller Coaster 14-Sugar Queen's Dream 15-First Time Dad 16-Life 17-My Life 18-The Painted Veil 19-My Thoughts 20-DatCurious.com 21-Little Aussie Cynic 22-A Nice Place in the Sun 23-DatMoney.com 24-The Down Side OF Up 25-Ladyjava's Lounge 26-Cat Tales 27-moms.....check nyo 28-Colorado Baby 29-It's a Woman's World 30-ENLIGHTENED BITS 31-My View of "It" 32-My Reviews and Finds Along the Way 33-Our Hep Chat 34-Rantings of a Woman 35-The Callalily Space 36-Mom Knows Everything 37-Hazel 38-Chronicles and Tales Unlimited (RED) 39-From the Mouth of Jabber Jaws 40-Sunny Side Up Foodie & Lifestyle 41-Carmel Corn 42-Daily Stock Picks 43-The Whole New World 44-Wifespeak 45-Slavery Bliss 46-Rooms of My Heart 47-Unpredictable Life 48-My Life, My World 49- At Your Service 50-All About Ebay 51-Everything Amazon 52-Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out 53-My So-Called Site 54-New Wife Blog 55-Tendre Poison 323 56-Nick's Bytes 57-My Scratch Pad 58-Choc Mint Girl 59-Life Is Just Around the Corner... 60-Amori, poseia, art... virtuali by Hanna 61-Maryannaville 62-monaco - monaco's 63-Nyumix's Blog 64-read my mind - my keyboard monologues 65-Shower You Children With Love - The Right Way 66-Secret Agent Mama 67-Pinaymama's Diary 68-Answers to the Questions 69-Work of the Poet 70-A Total Blog 71-My life, my hope, my future 72-NORTE 73-A Window to Our World 74-Life as a Mom 75-FIELD OF DREAMS 76-lisgold 77-See Me for What You 78-Caught in The Stream 79-Pinay Mommy Online - My Home 80-foster me up 81-CRUEL VIRGIN 82-Garden of Moments in Blog 83-So Cute 84-Love Everlasting 85-WeLcOmE To My CriB 86-WELCOM TO PINAYSMILE'S JOURNEY 87-Ice's Icelog 88-Jenny's Wandering Thoughts 89-Hobbies and Such 90-Sweet Paradise 91-Mommy's Gibble Gabbles 92-Rusin Review's 93-My Small World 94-Little Peanut 95-Online Ramblings 96-My Mood My Feeling 97-BLOG it with ALLEN 98-Entertainment World 99-Let's Go Singapore 100-Firelynx 101-Catsy Carpe Diem 102-Every Beat Of My Heart 103-Always Da Fresh Princess 104-Listening.. Learning..Living 105-All About Mars 106-Syii From Afar 107-Some Thoughts I Have 108-From Here and Beyond 109-My Paid To Blog 110-Scholarship Corner 111-Cell Phone Review 112-"Apples of the Eyes" 113-It's All About Play 114-The Luttrull Journey 115-RennyBA's Terella 116-Unchained Melody 117-Out of the Blue 118-The Lure Of the Unknown 119-Maricel's 120-my blog 121-Spiff, the Spaceman 122-Living Well 123-The Dog Log 124-Catnip Corner 125-A Piece of Idea 126-Observations From the Back 40 127-Poetry by The Redneck Gypsy 128-Odd Facts 129-Juliana's Lair 130-My life is murphy's law 131-lisgoldsmemoirs 132-My memories, as time goes by 133-Somewhere over the rainbow 134-Blogging by Sandee 135-Our Journey to this so called life 136-Idaho Daily Photo 137-Memories that Never Fades.. 138-Anything goes 139-Your Caring Angels 140-Little Paces 141-Laketrees 142-PoeARTica 143-fracas 144-Just FraCas 145-Archies Archive 146-Growing Up Together 147-A Woman's Diary 148-Mother's Got A Dot Com 149-Close To You 150-Hot Shit Form Here 151-Astro Galaxy 152-Detector 153-Beauty is in the eye of the beholder 154-My Life is Peachy 155-The Down Side of Up 156-Magical Milestones 157-In Search of Life 158-RebelationsdotNet 159-Jen Jen's Place 160-Mimi Writes... 161-Strange but true 162-Depois de minha viagem 163-Your Perfect Wedding: 164-Make Money Online 165-Primitive Ornies and Bowl Fillers 166-Vegetarian Diet Lifestyle 167-Looking Out For You 168-BENOLSATUEM 169-OtherSide 170-Hacko's Site 171-where was I 172-Making Money Resources 173-text's Site 174-Movie Corner 175-Rahasia Bisnis Internet 176-Online Dating Tips 177-Beauty Kissing Tips 178-Forex Trading Tips 179-Singapore Tour Guide 180-PPC vs PTR 181-Indonesian Film 182-Adsense Success Stories 2008 183-Bali Tour 184-Paypal Indonesia 185-Review Bisnis Internet 186-Blog Daniel Scardua 187-Much of a muchness 188-Gagiers Amazing World 189-Clumsy Mommy 190-Leaotheblogger 191-PBDesigns Reading and Crochet Blog 192-Gagiers Striking Zone 193-DrowseyMonkey 194-Yesterday Today n Tomorrow 195-Auntie Dar's Life 196-Sky Windows... 197-Filippino Life Abroad 198-Leao the Blogger 199-Zoop's Rantings on Life 200-My Journey 201-A Sweet Taste of Life 202-This is a Miracle 203-Lavanderia Virtual 204- Nancies's Web - Family Life 205-Dating Profile of the Day 206-my wooden robot 207-My World 208-urban : trendy : lifestyle 209-Lucel Juliana's Library 210-Cooking Momster - My Life Journal 211-Anggie & Jeremy boy Online Journal 212-'Doc Doc Doc' 213-Transforming My Life 214-Gratitude Journal 215-Simplydunn.net 216-emila's illustrated blog 217-AZZY'S BLOG-A-ROONIE! 218-MAMABLISS' TREASURED MOMENTS 219-The Sky's the Limit 220-PROJECT HEAVY TRAFFIC 221-just another ordinary story.. 222-Samuel Rolo 223-The end mission! 224-R S S Submissions 225-Laice's Pics 226-Health and Fitness 227-Brainybimbo 228-Journey with WaterLearner 229-Zoop's Rantings on Life (at Blogspot) 230-Dear Me (Ivan) 231-Tour the Tabon Caves 232-Book Calendar 233-Love me. Hate me 234-Everyday health and beauty 235-BLOGANDO & ANDANDO 236-Memoirs.:*CRoSs mY hEARt*:. 237-The Chic Shopaholic 238-CK Go Places 239-Red Empress: Hell Flavored, Taste like Valentine 240-QUEENBEE 241-Le bric a brac de Cherie 242-jaqqq in the blogs 243-Bijoux & Banter 244-When Silence Speaks 245-MadTomatoe's Blogging Tools and Widgets 246-Conceptis addict 247-Madamoiselle 248-My Wooden Robot Blog 249-A Simple Life 250-It's a dog's life 251-A Technocrat's Blog 252-Misty's Words 253-My Dogs Keep Me Sane 254-New England Lighthouse Treasures 255-NoDirectOn (not: NoDirection) 256-Additional BlogLOve 257-I am DZOI 258-Caroland's Breathtaking Adventure 259-Blur Ting 260-Rojoy's Daily Update 261-Down River Drivel 262-Momhood Moments 263-Real World Mom 264-REALWORLDMOMUNPLUGGED'S WEBLOG 265-Lucca D Jiwa 266-AngrianiWorld 267-Marketing•Review 268-sejuk sesangat 269-Everything and then Some..... 270-Gbex...reachingOut 271-Heart of Rachel 272-The working mom / Finding balance... 273-Madamoiselle ver.2 274-Latest Keyword 275-Tanny's Blog 276-Pay to Review 277-Happy Life 278-Pet Haven 279-Teratak Nurani 280- A Melhor Novela de Todos os Tempos do Último Verão 281-TYNIE World 282-Wanmus's Blog-get cheapest web hosting 283-mokkikunta 284-BLOGHIT, POLIBLOG, TOP TOPICS 285-none of your business 286-Expat Travels 287-The Poor Mouth 288-GIRLIEGEEK.ORG 289-Tau Tau 290-Points of View 291-kimf3's Blog 292-Bing-My Treasures 293-Everything Green 294-The Pipeline Fixation 295-~Menempuh Arus Masa-Life-Photography~ 296-Pea in a Pod 297-{Me and Mine} 298-Beblan Anak Tukang Jahit 299-How Bourgeois 300-Julie's Blog 301-Emphbone 302-Simply the Best 303-Euroangel Graffiti 304-My Daily Nourishment 305-the worldwideweb addict 306-(¯`·._.· PalavraS ArticuladaS ·._.·´¯) 307-The Big Life 308-Wild Borneo 309-Failure is the Key to Success 310-The muxic box's memories 311-What Goes Under the Sun 312-Cronaca di Gatteo 313-Angelika's other blog 314-So Real 315-Jaque 18 316-Overtime 317-When Life Becomes a Book 318-On the Bricks 319-Central Perk New York 320-The Simple Life of a Baghag 321-BlogBlast For Peace: The Official Site 322-Miss Cellania 323-Miss C Recommends 324-homeschooling.teacherjulie.com 325-belolats.com 326-The Original Blue Ribbon Bloggers 327-No nonsense Internet Tips 328-Its Not a Weekend; Its a Lifestyle 329-myfavehangout.com (Rich Valla) 330-Blog District 331-Official Travel Guide 332-EMJEI SAYS 333-www dot project rasso dot org 334-Work At Home Opportunities 335- VirusHead 336-Gracie de Guzman 337-Jollyjo 338-Jollyjo.tv 339-Ev Nucci's THE CAREER STRATEGIST 340-Ev Nucci's Resource Economics..Grease your brain 341-MARKETING MYSELF 342-NORTE 343-ACROSS THIS BRIDGE 344-STRUGGLING PARENTS 345-Read Between the Lines 346-Internet Lifestyle 347-THE SLEEPING TURTLE ART GALLERY 348-HIDUP BIAR SEDAP 349-BLOG ABOUT RICH 350-7101 Islands 351-Binding Ink III by Ndp the Poetress 352-mutiara hati 353-GreenBucks 354-Istilo Pinoy 355-Sweet and Complex Living 356-Angelika 357-my thoughts in writing 358-sharingplatform 359-Just the way it is... 360-LUCID CREATIVITY (Nelle-MyVirtualWorld) 361-TEACHERJULIE.COM 362-Bits and Pieces 363-Confessions Of A Breathing Tote Bag 364-My Joys 365-Fiction Earth 366-... My Precious ... 367-MY VIEWS ON MY SO CALLED LIFE 368-A Reality Bite 369-Cobb Community 370-Angelea's Blog 371-Janeth Vicy's Life Journey 372-NinaRepublic 373-Peaceful Mind 374-ME, MYSELF + 2 375-Mommy Jane and Little Sophia's Fasion misADVENTURES 376-ONKNEES - ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK..... 377-SHEENISM 378-SAILIN' THRU LIFE (ASecretPlace) 379-Project Management Tutorial 380-Labindalawang Piraso ng Kokomban 381-Gorgeous Traveller 382-Sharing Gifts and Ideas 383-MUMBLINGS 384-Because Life Is Fun 385-PsychPatient MD 386-Everything Is Free 387-BRAINY MOMMY 388-Simply Unique 389-precious moments 390-Pearly Scripts 391-LIGHTNING AND THUNDER 392-Rayani Friends 393-WORK CULTURE 394-Psychology 395-Gold News 396-Applied Psychology 397-Scientific Psychology 398-Backwoods Drifter 399-New Beginning 400-Life in General 401-Life Is Like That (That's Life) 402-Life With Roxxymetal 403-SEXY MOMMA 404-The Z Files 405-I'll Never Forget the Day I Read a Book! 406-DOODLE PAGE 407-Escape Hatch 408-The Official Afterslaughter Weblog 409-Mommy's Little Corner 410-MALTED MONKEY 411-MOM AND THE CITY 412-Life with the Two Crazy Dogs 413-the joys (and pains) of being a woman (My Untamed World) 414-Making Cents-Sense of Technology 415-USER GAME REVIEWS 416-Write Shy 417-DOMANTYS.net 418-ZWANG 419-ANYTHING GOES! (my world, my place, my views...!) 420-Matt's blog (World of Insanity) 421-Lifestyle chronicles 422-The Alien Next Door 423-CMAQUEST 424-The Mascot 425-NARUTO ADDICT MANIA 426-Friendster Layouts 427-borneo tatoo...the original body ink 428-DOMANTIX 429-CULTURED SHOCK 430-EuWorx 431-HUBPRIME 432-STAR SURFACE 433-MY KALEIDOSCOPE WORLD 434-luckycharms 435-John's Blog - Maybe I Am Joking? 436-NEW WORDPRESS THEMES 437-WEB VIDEO HITS 438-TOP MUSIC VIDEOS 439-TEXT MESSAGES 440-Homemade Haven 441-TAGMEMEAWARD CAT 442-Coriander Dreams 443-BrainLoops 444-Soul Meets World 445-Speak The Speech 446-The Tall Poppy 447-My Day Off 448-Internet Business Promotions and Opportunities 449-Gage's World 450-PIXY ROSE 451-John's Cynical Blog 452-Poliblog 453-Techcheck 454-RoseateMarketingTips.com 455-RUSTYGANGSTER 456-Napaboaniya's Music Videos 457-EZINE PRIME 458-Prime Scrolls 459-FactMundo: World of Facts 460-CHAE 461-GOLDFINGER 462-OnlineBiz and Resources 463-ASTRO GALAXY TRAVEL 464-The Singapore Housewife 465-Climate of Our Future 466-Anorexic Queen 467- INSERT YOURSELF HERE
Technorati Tag: Big+Bang+Challenge
Friday, February 8, 2008
Back in the Day
I was torn as to whether I should post this here or on my Complaint site. I decided to post it here because it's more of me venting that complaining. It also addresses the general "attitude" of kids today. If anyone has kids, I'm sure that you can relate.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in heck I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty (well over the age of thirty), I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a dang Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
1. When I was a kid, we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the dang library and look it up ourselves... In the card catalog!! (Do you even know what a card catalog is? Didn't think so! See the picture above.))
2. There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter... With a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
3. There were no MP3's or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the dang record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!
4. We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
5. And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
6. We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids' and the graphics were horrible! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
7. When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
8. Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!
9. And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a fire ... Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing or a pan with HOT oil and Real popcorn kernels and shake it all over the stove forever like an idiot.
10. When we were on the phone with our friends and our parents walked-in, we were stuck to the wall with a cord, a 7 foot cord that ran to the phone - not the phone base, the actual phone. We barely had enough length to sit on the floor and still be able to twirl the phone cord in our fingers. If you suddenly had to go to the bathroom - guess what we had to do..... Hang up and talk to them later.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled!! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980, three minutes in 1970 and a minute in 1960!
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
Technorati Tag: back+in+the+day
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Bettercaring / My Opinion
I have an aunt who is in a "Board & Care." facility and luckily, is doing fine. Before placing her there, I had to look at dozens of places, including home care, board and care, nursing homes, all types of facilities, and most were disgusting. My mother is 85 and my step dad is 92. I may have to do the same thing with them. What seemed to be missing, for me, was an easy to use place that could answer my questions about "Better Caring." Well, I have been asked to evaluate a web site called "bettercaring." This was a natural for me. As I looked through the site what struck me was the ease-of-use. It might seem silly, but I also thought the colors were soft and easy on the eyes.
There was an easy to use forum for questions. Some of the topics were quite relevant, including continuing to manage at home or entering a care home, searching for a living situation and how to obtain funds to pay for these situations.
I was also impressed with their searching for care situation feature. I was VERY impressed with the ability to increase the size of the type upon request.
It seems that the creator of this website has taken into account the fact that many elderly people will be using this site. WELL DONE.
I do, however, have only one suggestion to make this site better:
- It seems to only be for the UK. I would like to see this expand for other countries like the USA.
How To Tell If Your Feet Stink
How To Tell If Your Feet Stink..............
Scroll Down
Scroll down
Because I want you to get checked out to make sure you're healthy and will be around longer 
I would like to perform the following medical test….
Scroll Down
STARE INTO THE CAT'S EYES FOR 10 SECONDS ... 
Scroll Down
NOW STARE IN THE PUPPY'S EYES FOR 10 SECONDS
Your CAT SCAN and LAB TESTS are now complete
Scroll Down
Do you feel like working today?
Tomorrow?
The day after?
Next week?
Next Month?
Me neither!
Bye...........
Technorati Tag: stinky+feet
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Quarter Horse for Sale
I found this amazing deal and thought that maybe one of my readers would be interested.
This incredible horse was bred in India and is of a championship line.
If you or anyone you know is interested, please let me know.
If any of you live in horse country, maybe you would be interested.
You have never seen a quarter horse like this one.
Below is a picture of this beauty......
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Technorati Tag: quarter+horse
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
The Amazing Vicks Vaporub
This is not a joke and I am not being paid to report this. Consider this a public service announcement. If you have small kids, you must read this.
This is an email that a dear friend sent me. I also tried it and it does work.
Subject: Vicks Vaporub- this is amazing! Try it.
During a lecture on Essential Oils, they told us how the foot soles can absorb oils. Their example: Put garlic on your feet and within 20 minutes you can 'taste' it.
Some of us have used Vicks Vaporub for years for everything from chapped lips to sore toes and many body parts in between. But I've never heard of this. And don't laugh, it works 100% of the time, although the scientists who discovered it aren't sure why. To stop night time coughing in a child (or adult as we found out personally), put Vicks Vaporub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime, then cover with socks. Even persistent, heavy, deep coughing will stop in about 5 minutes and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief. Works 100% of the time and is more effective in children than even very strong prescription cough medicines. In addition it is extremely soothing and comforting and they will sleep soundly.
Just happened to tune in A.M. radio and picked up this guy talking about why cough medicines in kids often do more harm than good, due to the chemical makeup of these strong drugs so, I listened. It was a surprise finding and found to be more effective than prescribed medicines for children at bedtime, in addition to have a soothing and calming effect on sick children who then went on to sleep soundly.
My wife tried it on herself when she had a very deep constant and persistent cough a few weeks ago and it worked 100%! She said that it felt like a warm blanket had enveloped her, coughing stopped in a few minutes and believe me, this was a deep, (incredibly annoying!) every few seconds uncontrollable cough, and she slept cough-free for hours every night that she used it.
Technorati Tag: Vicks+Vaporub
Are You Prepared For Success? (Section III - Installment #7 "It Brings Down the Great” – Male & Female versions)
(If this is your first time on this site, you may want to begin with "Are You Prepared For Success?" [Introduction])
If you are a regular reader of my Empowerment Process please read the Section II version of this poem first; then read this version.
It Brings Down The Great
Ominous and powerful, it can bring down the great.
Few are immune, it doesn't discriminate.
It can't be held and it can't be seen.
But it leaves devastation wherever it's been.
Oh, the accolades I will have
For all those accomplishments I want so bad.
I won't let it in and I won't give it life.
I won't be cut down by anyone's knife.
I know what I want, I know what to do.
I won't be stopped. To myself I'll be true.
I won't plant the seeds. I won't let it grow.
I will stop it cold, and this I know.
I won't let it grow strong. I'll stop it today.
I won't let it destroy me. It won't get in my way.
I do not fear it…not even its name.
I will fight it off. Its ferocity I'll tame.
It won't consume me. It won't take my dreams.
It will leave in shame as it hears my screams
And now that I know, I just want to shout,
"I'll never give in to those first strands of doubt."
I strongly suggest that you write down your immediate reaction, after passionately reading this poem.
- What will you accomplish now that all doubt is gone?
Copyright © MondayMorningPower, All rights Reserved
Technorati Tag: It+Brings+Down+the+Great
Monday, February 4, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
WORK VS. PRISON
Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer:
@ PRISON
You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell
@ WORK
You spend most of your time in an 6X6 cubicle
@ PRISON
You get three meals a day, fully paid for
@ WORK
You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it
@ PRISON
For good behavior, you get time off
@ WORK
For good behavior, you get more work
@ PRISON
The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you
@ WORK
You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself
@ PROSON
You can watch TV and play games
@ Work
You could get fired for watching TV and playing games
@ PRISON
You get your own toilet
@ WORK
You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat
@ PRISON
They allow your family and friends to visit
@ WORK
You aren't even supposed to speak to your family
@ PRISON
All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
@ WORK
You must pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners
@ PRISON
You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out
@ WORK
You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars
@ PRISON
You must deal with sadistic wardens
@ WORK
They are called 'managers'
THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE.
Technorati Tags:
work+vs+prison work prison
Friday, February 1, 2008
Policeman Testifies in Court
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir.But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.
Technorati Tags:
Policeman+testifies+in+court policeman court
Thursday, January 31, 2008
WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY
30% of women think their ass is too fat............
10% of women think their ass is too skinny......
Technorati Tag: women's+ass
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Case of the Pregnant Lady
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE
OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick," and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it."
"CASE DISMISSED!!"
Technorati Tag: Pregnant+lady
Monday, January 28, 2008
anal glaucoma
A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
'What's the matter?' he asks.
'I have a case of anal glaucoma,' she says in a weak voice.
'What the hell is anal glaucoma?'
'I can't see my ass coming into work today.
Technorati Tags:
anal anal+glaucoma glaucoma
"Big Bang" - Master List-1 (Click Here For Current Copy of the List)
Please go HERE for the "Big Bang" Master list.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
And the "Stats" are Mounting
This week I have surpassed a couple of statistical milestones. First, my "Blog Reactions" have soared past the 2,000 number.
And, I have entered the hallowed ground of Technorati's top 5,000.
Now, I am well aware that this stat (Technorati Authority) is based on a 180 day concept and that links fall off and this could change; however, if I want to continue playing this game, and as long as it remains fun and I do not take it too seriously, I just have to stay ahead of the curve.
Now that I have patted myself on the back and done the "Gratitude Dance", I must get back to the semi-serious job of blogging, seriously.....well sort of.
Technorati Tags:
Top+5,000 TEchnorati+top+5,000
Saturday, January 26, 2008
EVER WONDER
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin ?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Technorati Tag: Ever+Wonder?
Friday, January 25, 2008
"Big Bang" - World Record
Let’s face it; one of the main goals of joining a meme is to increase links. So, let’s call a spade a spade and see how “Big” of a “Bang” we can get. The goal is to exceed 1,000 sites. Can it be done? With your help we will leave all the other memes in our dust! Just follow the instructions. No thought necessary.
You do not have to be tagged to play along. This game is simple and so are the rules. 1-Attitude, the Ultimate Power 2-Juliana's Site 3-Rusin Roundup 4-Grow Rich Along With Me 5-Comedy Plus 6-lynda's loft 7-Amel's Realm 8-MAX 9-Speedcat Hollydale 10-Mariuca 11-Complain Complain Complain 12-Mariuca's Perfume Gallery 13-Life Is A Roller Coaster 14-Sugar Queen's Dream 15-First Time Dad 16-Life 17-My Life 18-The Painted Veil 19-My Thoughts 20-DatCurious.com 21-Little Aussie Cynic 22-A Nice Place in the Sun 23-DatMoney.com 24- *End Copy Here*
My Tags for this meme:
Nonsense, fun, tears, happiness & anger all rolled into one!
Technorati Tags:
Big+Bang+World+Record Big+Bang World+Record
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Only In America
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers,large
fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America .....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America .. ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Technorati Tag: Only+in+America
